Name change

 Hi

i got engaged in February and our wedding is the 15th July 2017 we booked this so early as alot of my family live abrord and it give people time to save

ever since we have been engaged my future in-laws have fought over everything with us and caused unnecessary arguments between me and H2B

we wanted a rustic barn wedding they wanted a hotel

we wanted afternoon tea wedding breakfast they want a roast

we wanted dusty pink and grey and they like Cadbury purple.

our venue is 15 minutes from the church so they thing we should run a taxi service back and forth as they think it’s too far

we have decided on no kids till the evening but this has caused a massive argument.

everything we decided it joint but they make out its me h2b is so supportive and tells them they are join decisions but nothing is getting though

my mum and dad can’t be more helpfully even making the bunting for the barn to help us out.

Now I’m having feelings i don’t want to change my name - think this is to do with all the hassle we are having with them.

has anyone else had these problems

I’m seriously considering calling it off and eloping but then why should my mum and dad miss out after all their help

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Posts

  • Anna22Anna22 Posts: 157

    Families go nuts sometimes image  how was your relationship with them beforehand?

    I think you've got time to take a break from it all.  Tell everybody that you and your H2B don't want to talk about wedding plans with anyone for 3 months.

    Keep on with your plans between you, but don't talk to anyone else about them. If you haven't already done so, hold back on choosing bridesmaids as well (I get the impression that your in-laws might have opinions about everything)

    Are they paying for any part of the wedding? I.E. are they just interfering or are they trying to dictate how their money is spent?

    If they are contributing, could you manage without?

    Glad to hear that your H2B is standing strong with you on these issues...

     

    good luck, hope it all goes well!

  • hi

    no in-laws arnt paying for anything but want everything there way - i dont expect help with our wedding (money wise) but dont expect this much hassle

    im going to take your advice and have no wedding talk for a while and see where it goes

    bridesmaids have been chosen and told my 2 cousins and best friend is maid of honnor

    they are unawear of this as i said to H2B they dont need to know!

    thanks for the help

  • Claire121Claire121 Posts: 113 New bride

    I am so sorry to hear that your in laws are treating you and your husband to be like this. It is supposed to be your day, and they should be supporting you not dictating to you. Particularly when you are paying for it. 

    I have had issues with the in laws, we get married this month and the fighting has been continuous in the run up to the wedding, particularly over kids not being invited until the evening. They are stubborn and believe we are wrong so have taken the approach of trying to wear us down by repeatedly having a go about it and making threats not to attend the wedding etc.You need to decide if you can handle the fighting all the way up to the wedding day as you have quite a long time between now and your wedding. How stubborn are your in laws?  

    At this stage, I guess you wouldn't lose much in deposits if you did elope. You need to figure out what you really want and what is important to you and if you don't mind the stress and conflict, then stick out your original plans and stand your ground. Do not talk about the wedding with your in laws, just take care of things yourselves.

  • mandm64mandm64 Posts: 4

    I have been feeling exactly the same!! The thought of having the same name as h2b is such a lovely feeling but having the same name as his parents is genuinely upsetting to me image

  • im sorry your going though the same thing!  but im glad im not the only one.

    we argue all the time with his parents its so hard to arange anything with them

     

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  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    It's your decision not theirs. Just book it and tell them it's done.

     

    And taxi's? It's standard to hire a coach if it's more than a short walk, taxis are a lot of hassle

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