After countless google searches, I have yet to see anything that specifically addresses my problems. I have three bridesmaids in my wedding. One has been very supportive and helpful. Another has been difficult, but her heart seems to be in the right place. The third...well, there are no words.
Before I begin, I want to preface that I have not asked my bridesmaids to help me in any aspects of the wedding planning. I haven't treated them like henchwomen, or projected any expectations onto them that I haven't communicated. Although they live in the city where the wedding will take place, and I am from out of town, I haven't asked them to help me with the venue or any of the vendors. They haven't planned my bridal shower or my bachelorette party, so I doubt I will be having one. Furthermore, neither of them attended by engagement party.
I wanted the dresses to be something that the girls could re-ware. I didn't have a specific look in mind,but I wanted the dress to match he wedding colours (pastels). I was interested in a blush colour dress, since I have a blush sash and shoes and the junior bridesmaids are wearing blush. I didn't even care if the bridesmaids wore different dresses in different shades, just as long as they had some continuity to them that was consistent with the wedding. In short, I was open to anything as long as the dress was in pastels (preferably blush), and they were comfortable.
I asked them if they wanted to go anywhere to look for a dress, but they couldn't think of anywhere, so I did my research and made appointments in the city where they lived and traveled out of town so we could go dress shopping together. They couldn't decide on a dress that day, so I traveled back home and let them decide. About a month later, they tell me that they decided on a dress. I tried to send them texts to inquire if they have ordered them, but I didn't hear anything from them.
A few months later, I get an email from the dress maker saying two of by bridesmaids haven't ordered their dresses. She needed a commitment from the other girls so the dresses would be ordered in time and the dye would match the dress that was already ordered. I found out from the dress maker that the colour of the dress that was ordered wasn't blush or pastels, but navy blue. Apparently, one of my bridesmaids decided she didn't like the colour palate for my wedding, and decided to order hers in navy blue. Her justification was that it looked better on her and she thought it would let her 'blend in' more and wouldn't steal focus. This was ridiculous, since everyone is going to be in light colours and she will be in dark blue, but I let that one go and decided to change the colour palate of the wedding to accommodate this new shade. Since they are paying for the dresses themselves, I wanted them to like the dress even though it doesn't match the theme or palate of my wedding. However, with only two and a half months until my wedding date, I only have two out of three bridesmaids who have ordered their navy blue dresses. The other one still hasn't put the order through and has been ignoring my texts.
The same bridesmaid who decided to change the colour palate of my wedding has grown very distant. She told me she lost her phone, but she hasn't had it replaced for over two months now. We only communicate via email once every other week. I am about to send out my wedding invitations when she tells me that she already invited a guest to the wedding. This guest isn't a date, but a friend. This came as a total surprise to me. She told me that she always 'mentioned from the outset' that she was going to bring a plus one; however, I have no memory (or record) of this conversation. This kind of upset me, since I felt it was rude she was inviting people to my wedding without telling me. After all, does she decide if she gets to