How close is too close to my sisters wedding?

My sister is getting married in August 2016, and booked her venue a couple of months ago. I recently got engaged and started looking at venues. We found a couple of places we really like, and were planning for September 2016 as it's cheaper, works for us.

We then remembered loads of our close friends are teachers and would need a school holiday wedding or weekend date in Sep to attend. The venues we like are too expensive at the weekends, but one of the places we really like is affordable.

The problem is it only has weekday availability in July, 2 weeks before my sisters wedding. This fits in well with our budget, work and holiday availability. I asked her what she thought about this and she wasn't sure, but it's clear from her tone she wasn't happy. I think I might be being selfish, but we really want this venue. I don't know what to do!

Posts

  • In my opinion i would say that is too close. The build up to your sisters wedding will be over shadowed by yours and personally I don't think I would be happy if I was your her. 

    also if you will have a lot of the same guests it could work out expensive taking into account hen do's, presents, outfit's etc 

    sorry to be negative and like I say that's just my opinion!X

  • K.K. Posts: 58

    I think this will be too close, especially if your sister isn't happy with the situation. 

    weddings are very sensitive and would it be worth having the venue if it means upsetting your sister? If you were planning September anyway could you look out of wedding season in October? There'll be a half term for your teacher guests, and weekends may be cheaper?

     

    hope you find The perfect venue!

  • lubeslubes Posts: 1,555

    i agree with the other ladies i'm afraid lauren - i actually think getting married at any if those times will be too close. both your weddings will overshadow each other's (which isn't fair on your sister IMO as she got there first!) and actually, i think it would be nicer to have a bigger gap so family especially have a chance to 'wind down', reflect on your sister's day and then look forward to your wedding. not to be negative, but if my sister got engaged after me and booked her wedding a few weeks before mine, i wouldn't be a happy bunny! 

    why not go for may 2017? there's two bank holidays and a half term then! i totally get that you and your OH want to get married as soon as you can, but i get the impression from your post that you are rushing this. maybe sit down with your OH, think about what you really want and look at the bigger picture too. could you afford your weekend wedding with some extra months of saving? if i was you, i would wait - that way, both you and your sister will get your own wedding spotlight which i think you would much prefer! 

  • Anna22Anna22 Posts: 157

    Sounds like it would be a double whammy for family members, two weddings within two weeks, bearing in mind that they may have to travel and stay in hotels, plus gifts and wedding duties if applicable.  The costs of attending two weddings within 1 month may be too high for some people...

    Best to space it out if you can;  I agree with other posters suggestions of October, or May 2017...

     

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    I don't think it's a very nice thing to do.

    Plus if you and sis are each other's bridesmaids then that poses a real problem

  • VictoriaoVictoriao Posts: 1,536

    I agree with the others that it is too close. I think September is too close too. Just remember that the family guests on your side would be expected to attend two weddings in a short time span. That means 2 outfits (because the women will definitely not want to be seen in the same thing), presents and expenses (drinks, accom, travel etc). I personally think it's too much rot ask so closely. Spread it out either a May wedding in the same year or the following year. Or have an extra year to plan.

    having been a b2b who has had her wedding day, it's surprising how much there is to do in the last couple of weeks and it's easy for them to become a blur. You want all hands on deck so to speak! Spread out the celebrations and give yourself time to plan after helping your sister. 

  • I agree with the other girls. I too wouldn't be happy if my sister (who im close to) decided to pip me to the post if it Were!!! 

    Perhaps if you left a bigger gap between the two weddings you can do things differently  & there won't be the competition like there  inevitably would be :)

  • LeaMarieLeaMarie Posts: 723

    Definitely too close... Aside from the planning, and family stresses of both weddings, I would be concerned with how it would affect yours and your sisters relationship.

  • Hi.  I think it's too close. 

     

    my daughter asked all our family if they had plans to marry and if so when in the future. She stepped aside for aLl the wedding that were on the horizon and sent out save the dates a year ago for her wedding in August 2016. We have just found out in the last couple of days that  one of her cousins who said they had no p,and to marry anytime soon,  now plans to marry in the weeks before her wedding  They are in the process of getting a venue, but have made it plain they want it to be around the same time as my daughters.

     

    theres nothing we can do about it, it looks rather petty to say, well my daughter wants her movement do you have to spoil it, but I think it's hugely inconsiderate. We now have to wonder if they're going to do anything we have already Planned to do and as our wedding is going to result in guests having to pay to stay over, we had given them plenty of notice to factor in the Costs. We now know they intend to pick a venue where guests will have to stay over and obviously as there's is to come first, we think the same family guests are going to struggle to justify the expense in such a short period Of time. 

     

    Just be be considerate to your sister.  We obviously are not going to get any, but it's left a very sour taste that's for sure. 

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  • Please take it from my personal experience planning a wedding close to your sisters is WRONG! I'm dealing with the same situation at the moment with my sister. I have been with my future hubby for 5 years we got engaged in April 2015 and have planned an October 2016 wedding. Exciting right? Well not when your older sister gets engaged after being with her boyfriend for 9 months and wants to plan her wedding months before yours in july/aug. I'm beyond HURT and angry with her.. it's not so much about stealing my thunder... she couldn't do that if she tried.. it's the point of the matter is the WRONG thing to do. Have respect for your sister special time everything leading up to that day is supposed to be about you not be over shadowed by anyone else especially your sister! This is destroying my relationship with my sisters and it's all her fault.. there are many other months she could get married in so what's the rush?  My mother thinks I'm being unreasonable because "she doesn't understand my feelings." Well know one needs to understand the way I feel.. they just need to have respect. So if your sister thinks it's too close.. it's too close and please have respect for her feelings. I wouldn't want anyone to be going through what I am with their sister.  

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,208 New bride

    I agree that it's too close - ask yourself do you want to potentially cause upset in the family for the sake of being married a couple of months earlier to the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? 

    As a sister i'd be hurt if my sister got engaged now and 'beat me down the aisle' so to speak. Give your sister her time in the spotlight, enjoy being engaged & plan yours for the following year - it gives you and your family something else to look forward to after your sisters big day. She will also have plenty of tips & advice for you! 

    Good luck on your venue/date hunt x

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