Should I reconsider wedding abroad if dad wont come?
We really struggled to find any kind of wedding we were excited about - it all seemed expensive and stressful and I didnt want the attention of a big day. Then we thought of getting married in New York, quick ceremony at the Clerk's office and then celebrating in the city with immediate family only. We were finally super excited and making plans. Everyone was excited to come.. except my dad
He has not been the best of dads, and has always been a difficult character and has lots of his own issues, and we have never had a great relationship however I did want him to be there on the day. Firstly he ignored my calls for a few days after he heard this was what we were considering and I wanted to discuss it with him. He only called me back once my mum told him off. He initially made excuses and firstly said he couldnt come, and listed things which may make it more difficult (some are health related) but certainly shouldnt stop him coming to his daughter's wedding. After me answering all of his concerns he's now saying he might but wont decide for months, but we want to book quite soon.
Were really not sure what to do and dont know whether we should do it anyway and let it be his choice if he wants to come, or reconsider our plans. We cant think of anything else we want to do and been looking at similar things in London but all seems like second best and not at all excited by it. Sisters have said just go without him, but I do feel guilty about the prospect of leaving him here. Also if he did decide to come I'm now concerned that he would be grumpy and miserable the whole time (very possible) as he would feel forced to go somewhere he didnt want to go. And also dont want to spend all that money for it all to be a disaster!
If anyone has actually read this far would massively appreciate any advice as really dont know what to do x