So over this wedding planning

I am really struggling with this wedding marlarky and feel so depressed with it all I could cry.

We seem to lurch from one disaster to another with my fiancé firstly being made redundant, managing to get another job and then having a heart attack two weeks ago.

I am so tired with it all, I don't have anyone to talk to it about or bounce ideas off of, I lurch from one idea to another, can't settle on any one idea for my evening reception back here. I am just so over it and I really regret it all tbh.

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  • Hugs Cars, we all have days like that hun. I posted a thread earlier just Ranting; maybe today Is a bad Day? The planets have aligned to give us brides to be bad days!

    If your fiancé has been that I'll I'd ditch the planning for a while; he's your priority. Don't feel guilty about it, just look after yourself and him. We are here if you need a moan though xx

  • Anna22Anna22 Posts: 157

    Hi Cara,  sorry to hear that you and your fiance have been through a rough time.  Given the circumstances, it make perfect sense to take a break from planning (especially if you need to focus on your fiance's health for a while).

    If you're very early on in the planning (e.g. no venue booked, no date set) then I would suggest, ignore everything related to weddings for 2 weeks to a month.  Then come back to it with a fresh mind, and focus only on the important elements (whatever is important to you and your fiance).  If the redundancy had an impact on your savings, then you can use this time to re-budget.

    How many people are you planning to have for the evening event?  that will drive the venue choice I guess.  as long as people are fed and watered,and can get too and from the venue with relative ease they don't really mind much where they are or what's going on!

    good luck, hope it all works out!

     

  • Cara18Cara18 Posts: 101

    Hi all,

    thanks all for your comments, I feel a wee bit better today, I was so tired last night and I had a row with my OH over tablets of all things and I got really emotional and annoyed.

    Its been hard as I don't really have any family close by and his family have been no help apart from posting stupid messages on facebook about my OH getting better and how much they love him (yeah right).

    I suppose I am just really angry at the lack of support given to him since he got ill and the poor ol wedding became the focus on my anger.

  • That sounds really tough Cara :-( Do you have any ushers, bridesmaids etc who might be able to help you out with some of the details or planning. Even if it's just a chat about things over a glass of vino! Not sure what your relationship is like with in-laws but from experience sometimes need to be direct with people and ask for help, actually naming specific thing they might be able to do. Even if it's just coming round and seeing your OH. Sometimes illness tends to frighten people off, just at the time you need family and friends support more than ever and like you say not just messages on Facebook! And if all else fails come chat with us, there are lots of here who love wedding planning and would be happy to help x

  • Cara18Cara18 Posts: 101

    Hi Nini2

    Thanks for posting, I had written a reply last night but my laptop was playing up and wiped my response.

    My BM is currently quite unwell (long term illness) and tbh I don’t really want to bother her at this time.  My relationship with the in laws is ok I suppose, they don’t really bother with us unless we go to see them. They are fond of declarations of family being everything but it’s not really the case. I wouldn’t really ask them for help or support as they have been fairly disinterested in both the wedding and also my fiancés health issues recently. Only one of his brothers came to see him whilst he was in hospital and has been in continual contact since he came out of hospital. The rest is has been the odd text message or fb message.

    I suppose I am really upset and annoyed for my fiancé as I know he has been really hurt in relation to the lack of support he has received from his family but won’t tell me as that’s just the way he is and he knows I am annoyed with his family as well. I suppose we just need to come to terms with the lack of support from his family and build a bridge. We always say we are a team and as long as we support each other we will be fine.

  • It sounds like you have accepted that his in-laws are frankly rubbish at offering any real support. Not surprised you're both hurt/angry. Good for you for being the better person and trying to build bridges nonetheless. Anyway Ive just seen your planning thread and looks like your doing a grand job with the planning without their help :-) 

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  • Cara18Cara18 Posts: 101

    Thanks Nini

    I have realised that there are things and people I can't change or influence and sometimes its easier and better for you just to accept and move on and that's what I need to do for my own peace of mind and sanity, and do you know what since finally realising that I feel much better about things.

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