Help! MOH Troubles - Bridesmaid Dresses!

I didn't need to ask my MOH to be just that because she knew I would ask her and it's true (although I haven't "officially" asked her yet. BUT I admit I am having second thoughts about it... especially with all the kerfuffle over bridesmaids dresses! 

Every style I have suggested or shown her she has shot down and then thrown dresses she likes at me. Most of which i have disliked, a couple of which i thought were ok. Shes being very stubborn about certain things, For eg. I would prefer short dresses, she almost insists on long. Basically, it seems like it boils down to "stuff what you want, I don't care as long as I look good".

And then today when we finally had a dress she agreed to... 

Well, I've spoken to my H2B and he has said he would like to be involved in the bridesmaid dresses side ofbthings and I agree, (although he sayss the final choice is down to me) after all it is his day too. So we more or less agreed that he would see the dresses in person before they were bought. 

As soon as I mentioned his coming to see the dresses to my MOH, she threw, what I can only describe as, "a bit of hissy fit", saying things like "he doesn't get to see your dress, why should he see ours", "you're not paying for the dresses, we are" and "it's nothing to do with him". To be honest, I don't know what to do, she has suggested taking photos and sending them to him but I know photos don't always do things justice and these dressed have to be ordered nearly two months in advance so I'd prefer to order them while we are there, with plenty of time for alterations, but I can't keep up with her being this controlling and stuff.

In contrast, I went to a bridesmaids dress fittings wih a other friend ( I am one of her bridesmiads) and the difference was incredible... 


Sorry for the long rant!! 


  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    Why does H2B care what dresses they get?! I have never heard of a groom wanting to be involved in BM dress shopping! Although that's nice that he wants to be involved

    If the BMs are paying for their own dresses they can pick whatever they want, you don't get a say and neither does the groom

  • Karen62Karen62 Posts: 244

    Sorry have to agree with rubycat, if they are paying then they should have a choice in what they wear. If you're paying you get to choose length style etc. if you're expecting them to pay then they have more of a say.

    Most h2bs (mine included) are really not interested in what the BMs are going to wear!  But it is nice to that he's wanting to be involved, but could be considered a bit controlling.

    It sounds to me like you need to identify what dress styles are acceptable to both you  & bm so you you can work out what common ground you have & what dress you are looking for.



  • I agree that the BMs get more say, it's the way she''s going about it though that's annoying and H2B won't be doing the whole bm dress shopping but only seeing the final 2 or three choices. We already have a choice that we agree on and I'm taking all three of then to try it on and potentially order it. 

    I know a few h2b''s who have been involved in the bridesmaid reds choice.

    Unfortunately though, this isn't the only thing she's been really controlling over.

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