My best friend no longer wants to be a bridesmaid
Me and my best friend have know each other for ages, she was the first one I told when I got engaged and as any best friend would be she was over the moon. I asked her to be a bridesmaid over a year ago and she was more excited than me. Since then she has got a new partner and had her second child. She has always suffered from depression and anxiety which comes and goes. She hasn't been quite herself recently and was planning to meet up but then text at last minute to cancel. She then text to say that she can't be bridesmaid as Her depression and anxiety is bad again and she doesn't know whether she will even come to the wedding. The wedding is 8 months away so I explained that I will still get the dress and see how she feels but she was positive she was not going to be a bridesmaid and could not come to the hen do.
Part of me feels concerned but the other half betrayed as I have not given her any jobs to do other than be there to mop my tears and be proud. I'm worried I won't enjoy my day as I will feel like something is missing if she isn't there.
I know it is very selfish of me but I can't help but feel that she should try to put her issues to the side for the one day in my life that I will need her the most. And what makes matters worse is that her first child is a flower girl.
I don't know what to do, think or feel.