I was wandering how many people have cancelled their weddings and decided on a much smaller (around 10/15 people) ceremony with a meal after? I was thinking Gretna Green, as I absolutely love it. Either that or flying off to the states just the 2 of us and combining our honeymoon with a wedding.

My wedding is booked for 2 years from now and we have booked everything. We would lose around £1500 in deposits (not a lot compared to the estimated 15/16k cost)

I never wanted a big wedding, it was always more his thing so I went along with it to keep him happy. The problem is that his parents are being incredibly controlling and overbearing, getting worse over the past 6 months regardless of what he says to them and I've reached my breaking point now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


  • Anna22Anna22 Posts: 157

    A friend of mine was planning a big family wedding for next year.  She and her partner changed their mind and just went to the registry office, the two of them and two witnesses.  She's so much happier having done it this way.

    If both you and your H2B are happy to have a smaller wedding, I'd say go for it. You say your future in laws are getting more controlling, is this also about money that they are contributing?  That's often such a tricky flashpoint. 

    How much does your H2B still want a big wedding?  Does he support your desire for a smaller one?


    In your position, i'd be very tempted to run off to a registry office, and just tell people afterwards....:)

  • Kim90Kim90 Posts: 183

    We were thinking of Gretna too...our wedding will be 20 people... For us Gretna was a bit of a conveyor belt of weddings..perhaps because we looked in the summer and we wanted a summer wedding...however we have decided to go to comlongon castle... It sounds very expensive...but they pride theirselves on giving a personal service at a reasonable cost...maybe worth a look? 

    There is also an online calculator (loved this) !

    good luck x

  • Sam60Sam60 Posts: 249

    If you aren't happy now, perhaps you should change it before it gets too late. You may lose the £1500, but that is spent now whether or not you proceed (going ahead won't get your money back either if you see what I mean).

    We have changed some of our plans after paying a deposit, and even with the loss taken into account we have ended up better off, and with a ceremony we are more comfy with. It is both of your day, not your families. You are only going to have one wedding, so have one you want :-) It's easy being a keyboard warrior, but not so easy in real life so good luck xx

  • I've been with my partner for almost 8 years, we've been engaged for 7 years

    .. its taken us ages to get into the wedding spirit, in the end we book something very different and unique to us for a number of reasons, it just felt right for us.

    We decided we would try and reduce the numbers by going for a Sunday also the venue is in the middle of the country side. We know that the people that are special to us will make the effort, also with it being on a Sunday it's cheaper 😊. 

    My partner never wanted a big wedding so I feel like we have the perfect compromise, and he's become very involved and excited. We have done everything together from the star and not really included anyone, as it's our day and we want it to be about us...because really everyone else is just a guest ! It's about you two!

    I think it's so important that you follow your heart and do what makes you happy, I here it all too much that people feel like they have done everything for everyone else "make it about you both"

    P.s I love the idea of a small wedding ☺.. I have 40 for day and 90 for the evening & I feel that's perfect for us

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