Worried about money now....

Hi everyone, 

So when we first started looking at venues, my parents offered us a very generous sum and basically said they would pay for the venue and all rooms for the guests that would need to stay the night, which is most of them. It was a tremendously generous offer that we were very grateful for.

When we chose our venue and paid the deposit, I rang my mum all excited to share the news to be given the response "We're not very happy with that venue"...I kept calm and explained why we chose that over the venues they liked best and I thought the matter was settled, they weren't happy but were going to accept that it was our choice. Then a few days later, I got a phone call from my mum saying that they were now unable to offer us their original figure, which I'm convinced was just to try and force us to go with their choice. I wasn't happy, but don't want to fight just before Christmas, I know what they are like and never truly believed they would support us anyway, so we always planned to pay ourselves.

However, I've been working out costs and it's getting very expensive!!!! The quotes I'm getting for photographers are way more than I thought they'd be (around £1700!) and entertainment has quoted me over £1000 so I'm starting to worry about money. I know they are professionals who need to make a living and the cost reflects the value of their time, but we just can't afford this....

So far, I've got venue (includes catering and accommodation), registrar and my dress sorted, not having flowers or car and my cake is being bought as a gift by my brother. But everything left is for us to pay for so if there's any good ideas to save money (and time, I have no time for big DIY projects, and I'm not very creative anyways).....


  • Sam60Sam60 Posts: 249

    What a nightmare!! What sort of entertainment are you looking for? Have a look on Groupon for the photographer, in the Bristol area there are always several offees with good reviews - hopefully it will be like it where you are.

    Most importantly, don't get stressed about it and don't spend what you can't afford. This is just a big party, being married is what is important :-) xx

  • bella2015bella2015 Posts: 1,903 New bride

    I think you've got no option but to cut costs. Do you really need entertainment at £1000, I assume you're having a band?

    Also photographers don't need to be that expensive, ours was £800 and I can honestly say I don't think I've ever come across a photographer that expensive whilst planning our wedding.

    You need to work out what's important to you and what isn't, and go from there..

  • DactylDactyl Posts: 66

    I agree with the others, shop around and see what you can find. There are lots of photographers around who charge a lot less than £1,700. In terms on entertainment, a dj is usually cheaper than a band, but if you really want a live band try looking for smaller groups (e.g a 3 man band is likely to be cheaper than a 4 or 5 man band as there are fewer people to pay).

    Do you have any talented friends who can help with some things like cake or invitations, or a friend with a nice car who would be willing to drive you there? diy invitations can save a lot of money and don't have to be hard to make.

    ive been to a couple of weddings where we were asked to bring something for a dessert table instead of a presentm which I presume saved on their catering costs, but it depends what is included in your package.

    there are also little things, like favours, which can easily be cut out to save costs, and no one will notice on the day.

    there te also the other obvious things - look out for sales at bridal shops, consoder buying a sample dress, get bridesmaid dresses from a highstreet store rather than a bridal shop, keep numbers of bridesmaids - I've done this as I wanted something - small if possible as its fewer dresses etc to buy.

     If its really a big problem, could you postpone it to give you more time to ssve up?

    I think we all worry about costs at some point, it's just a case of prioritising what you s money on and where you're prepared to make compromises.

    good luck, I'm sure it will all come together

  • SammykateSammykate Posts: 3,976 New bride

    Good on you for sticking to your venue choice under pressure!

    I agree that the costs mount up fast when you're paying for everything yourself. But as others have said you can shop around and cut back where necessary. We would love a band but theyre just too expensive so at the moment its looking like a DJ. Have you tried local wedding fayres? You might be able to meet local suppliers and negotiate a better deal.

    Our photographer is £995 and we are in the Cotswolds which are expensive- so yes you can find one for cheaper than £1700! (They are also highly reccomended and nominated for awards so not just going with some random bloke with a camera) We also saw quotes for higher so do keep looking. The first videographer we contacted wanted £1800 (HAH!) But the one we chose is £550.

  • lubeslubes Posts: 1,555

    Hey Squirrel,

    Sorry to read that you're having a hard time. I understand that sinking feeling of costs seemingly spiralling out of control (we are currently having that dilemma after ending up way over our original day guests number!), but I am about to echo what some of the other ladies have said which may reassure you. Both your photographer and entertainment quotes are way too pricey! 

    Our photographer is costing us £1300 and our entertainment (a DJ and jazz musician during the drinks reception) are totalling £500ish.

    I think you should console yourself in the fact that you have a venue that you love, your catering sorted and your dress. They are some major factors of the day sorted which is a big weight off! PLUS there are so many photographers and entertainers out there, you will be spoilt for choice! You just need to set aside some time to do some research. A few things spring to mind to me in terms of tips:

    1) Ask your venue if they have a recommended suppliers list. Remember that supplier fees will include things like fuel and time spent travelling, and if you choose local suppliers who regularly work at your venue, they won't need to add on these additional costs.

    2) Think about your timings too. My OH used to be a DJ and changed his rates depending on the amount of time he'd spend working. For example, he charged an extra £50 for every hour he played after midnight. Similarly, he would increase his rate slightly if say, he was DJing a wedding and he needed to be set up before the wedding breakfast (so rather than turning up at half 6, he'd be there for half 3 and have to sit around for a few hours!).

    3. More people cost money. Is your £1000 entertainment a band? As one of the other posters said, they will obviously need to make enough money to pay multiple people as opposed to one which can make the price go way up! Worth asking friends/family if they know any musicians who could do you a cheaper rate if you're set on having live music? A DJ will be considerably cheaper though, but similarly, other suppliers charge more if you want certain services. Your photographer may need to pay an assistant/the packages you choose may require an extra body (our videographers charged more for some 'extras' in order to cover the costs of a third person for instance...).

    4. Get yourself down to some wedding fairs. There will be loads on in the New Year I imagine following the Christmas proposal period! Suppliers may be offering special wedding fair rates and it's a great chance to meet people, see their work and chat through your options.

    Try not to get too stressed. Everything will fall into place in the end  x

  • Hi squirrel,

    I'm really sorry to hear the goal posts have changed for you.  Fingers crossed your parents will realise that it is your decision where to get married and they might be able to 'find' the money they originally promised.  

    I don't mean this to be shameless advertising, but I have recently started out as a wedding photographer.  I've done a few weddings but think I'm reasonable at £650 for all day digital coverage.  If you were interested you can see my website www.lauragracephotography.co.uk or I'm on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lauragraceweddingphotography I also do half say packages which could further reduce the cost.

    I was a bride on here when I got married (welshgrace) so not just on here to promote my business venture (and know what an amazing source of advice it can be!).

    Good luck,

    Laura xx

  • SquirrelSquirrel Posts: 102

    Hi everyone,

    Thanks for the help, I think I was just feeling a bit pants yesterday when I posted as I was doing the maths and with Christmas taking it's fair share of cash, it was all a bit much. 

    The tips are great, I had already considered some but not all so thanks for the help. We have already stripped our wedding down to the bare essentials as we don't want a big party or more than 35 guests...though I feel we may have to stretch to 50 but we'll see.....

    The entertainment was a firework display, perfectly justifiable to cost up to £1000, it takes a lot of expertise and expensive kit! It wasn't really a complaint on the quote, more that we need to find that cash, haha. We decided on that rather than musical entertainment as our venue is very small and we wanted a small, casual wedding. I don't dance and hate "discos" so I wanted more of a "family round for dinner" atmosphere but thought it would be nice to have something to round off the night. 

    I've had some much more affordable quotes for photography now so I'm feeling a bit better about that. Like I said, I think I posted more to get it out of my system!

    Thanks for the support though, it is greatly appreciated! x

  • MissNdMissNd Posts: 122 New bride

    I'm getting seriously worried too!! I still have to pay for my half of the honey moon, our guest list has gone up so it's an extra £1000+, I need to save up extra money as a back up. My brain is hurting! I don't have much advice to give you, but I feel your pain!! 6 months to go, on a crap wage, our wedding going from strictly close family to now extended family, its all driving me mad! 

  • I think its a bit mean of your mum to offer and then take it back id rather people not even iffer than do that! Is there any way fireworks can be cheaper can you buy them and do them yourself? I know nothing about laws and regulations with fireworks so you probably cant. Maybe cut them all together? I know its horrible but its worth thinking of.

    I totally understand where you are coming from, theres no way we are going to afford our wedding and we are having a very cheap £2500 wedding (all in) my photographer is £250 from ceremony to reception (around 4/5 hours) shes actually a wildlife photographer who is just starting to do weddings. Shes amazing and we are lucky as when she gains more experience im.sure her prices will shoot up. Maybe thats an option for you?

    Maybe sit down snd write a list of everything you want in order of importance and see if theres anything you can cut? Good luck!

Sign In or Register to comment.