How Can I Focus On My Wedding When My Beautiful Cat Is Missing?

Hi Everyone,

We moved to our home three weeks ago today.

We have 4 gogeous cats, 2 of which are mine and my fiancee's and the other 2 are my Mother-In-Laws-To-Be who are now living with us.

Thursday morning we put one of our cats outside, he has been refusing to leave the house so we wanted to encourage him outside to use outside as a toilet instead of the litter trey all the time (he is almost 3). We went back less than an hour later and he was gone. We haven't seen him since...

His name is Roxy, he is a long haired blue/grey colour, he was the first pet me and my fiancee had together and we love him more than I can put into words, he is our baby. Roxy is microchipped and very unique looking, I pray someone will find him soon and bring him home.

We have been leaving food out every night, hoping it will attract him back, we have gone searching for him severel times, I went round all the neighbours knocking on their doors and none of them have so much as seen him. I called council, thankfully they haven't picked him up. I have rang the vets and they haven't had him brought in. The vets have posted about Roxy on their Facebook page, I posted about him on my own Facebook page, on a lost and found page in Belper (where I live), I have messaged a site called spotted Belper asking them to post about him. My fiancee is currently making fliers at home.

I am devastated, I haven't slept the last two nights and I already suffer from Chronic Fatugue Syndrome/M.E so not sleeping is dangerous for me. How can I sleep though if I'm worried about my fluffy baby?

My wedding is on the 22nd July 2016, we have sorted most things but there are still some wedding tasks which we haven't completed but the truth if as excited as I am for my wedding; I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on wedding tasks because all I can think about is;

1.what else we can do to find our cat?

2.Is he safe?

3.Are we ever going to see him again?

4.Will he come home soon?

5. I need to check all the websites see if anyone has herd anything

6.Check my phone at every opportunity to see if anyone has seen him.

I am completely heartbroken, I'm struggling to breathe. How can I focus on my wedding? :'(

Posts

  • Lexi90Lexi90 Posts: 971

    I am sorry to hear about your cat - have you moved far from your previous house? I know sometimes cats try and go back to where they came from. It may be worth looking there? 

    It sounds like you've done your best in the area you live in - I really hope he comes back for you.

     

  • Hi Ashleigh

    Sorry to hear about your cat. I know I'd be worried and really upset if one of mine went wandering. It sounds like you are doing all the right things in terms of your search. Do you have a garage, shed or any outbuildings? You may have looked already but cats are sneaky and love to hide. He could be curled up in there. Could you perhaps knock your neighbours' doors again, say he is still missing and ask them to check their sheds etc? I really hope he turns up. I'm sure he'll want fuss after his adventure.

    Moving house and getting married in a fairly short space of time sounds a lot to juggle so, coupled with your missing cat, it's natural that you're struggling to sleep. Can you try herbal nytol, a bath and a book before bed? I know you want to keep checking your phone to see if anyone has seen your cat but they're meant to be bad for sleep. Can you try and be strict with yourself and stop looking at your phone after a certain time each evening (I'd struggle with this).

    Can you delegate any wedding jobs to friends or family? If they are close by and are willing to help, you could either give them a job to do or let them help you with something. Their company and help may take your mind off things and help you to feel a bit calmer, which will cut down your to do list and may also help you to sleep better.

    Hope he turns up and you feel better soon x

  • MrsLjCMrsLjC Posts: 1,202 New bride

    Aww no I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. It's hard when its all you can think about but need to do other things 

    you are doing everything you can do, perhaps trying to do wedding things will pass the time while you're waiting on news of your cat. He might be doing some exploring and went inside someones house or shed. I know you've asked neighbors if they've seen him but maybe ask to look in sheds or garages? 

  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77
    Lexi90 wrote (see post):

    "I am sorry to hear about your cat - have you moved far from your previous house? I know sometimes cats try and go back to where they came from. It may be worth looking there? 

    It sounds like you've done your best in the area you live in - I really hope he comes back for you."

    No we're not too far from our previous house at all, however when we moved out of that house my soon-to-be-sister-in-law moved into that house with her Dad (my soon-to-be-father in law) so they live there which means if he has gone back they will see him and bring him back down to ours. They haven't seen him at all though :(

    I really hope he does as well, I will keep ringing round, I will keep knocking on doors and we will put flyers up everywhere. I just want him home :(

    xx

     

  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77
    DaisyFields wrote (see post):

    "Hi Ashleigh

    Sorry to hear about your cat. I know I'd be worried and really upset if one of mine went wandering. It sounds like you are doing all the right things in terms of your search. Do you have a garage, shed or any outbuildings? You may have looked already but cats are sneaky and love to hide. He could be curled up in there. Could you perhaps knock your neighbours' doors again, say he is still missing and ask them to check their sheds etc? I really hope he turns up. I'm sure he'll want fuss after his adventure.

    Moving house and getting married in a fairly short space of time sounds a lot to juggle so, coupled with your missing cat, it's natural that you're struggling to sleep. Can you try herbal nytol, a bath and a book before bed? I know you want to keep checking your phone to see if anyone has seen your cat but they're meant to be bad for sleep. Can you try and be strict with yourself and stop looking at your phone after a certain time each evening (I'd struggle with this).

    Can you delegate any wedding jobs to friends or family? If they are close by and are willing to help, you could either give them a job to do or let them help you with something. Their company and help may take your mind off things and help you to feel a bit calmer, which will cut down your to do list and may also help you to sleep better.

    Hope he turns up and you feel better soon x"

    Thank you, we have been looking in our sheds/outhouse bulidings every day and some of the neighbours are doing the same but he hasn't turned up yet :/

    I have been having a hot bath and reading a book but it's mainly when I'm trying to get to sleep, it's dark in my room and silent and no matter what I try all I can think about is Roxy. Yeah moving house and getting married so close together has been ridiculously stressfull but nothing compares to how I'm feeling now my cat is missing. I know I might sound crazy but he really is everything to me.

    Yeah that is a good idea but there are some things that no one else can do really :/

    I hope he turns up too xxx

     

     

  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77
    AutumnBride30 wrote (see post):

    "Aww no I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. It's hard when its all you can think about but need to do other things 

    you are doing everything you can do, perhaps trying to do wedding things will pass the time while you're waiting on news of your cat. He might be doing some exploring and went inside someones house or shed. I know you've asked neighbors if they've seen him but maybe ask to look in sheds or garages? "

    It's really hard, I feel like everything is falling apart leading up to the wedding :(

    I have asked them to look in sheds and garages but whether they actually will or not I don't know :/ xx

     

  • UmbongoUmbongo Posts: 89

    Sorry to hear this :(

    My cat went missing last year when I was on holiday in France. I had an awful holiday and all I could think about was him. He is my baby. He is a lap cat with only one eye so I feared the worst for him.

    Things you can try:

    1. If you have a litter tray & litter that he has recently used, put this outside for him to sniff out.

    2. Have you contacted all the vets in your area or just the one you are registered at? I would contact them all, and any local rescues. Although if he was found and taken to them then his chip will be scanned anyway. 

    3. Contact your chip company and alert them that he is missing. This should put an alert on his chip for is he is found and scanned. Make sure all your contact details phone numbers/email/address etc on the chip are correct.

    4. Have you been back to your old house to see if he has made his way back there? Can you ask your old neighbours to keep an eye out for him. 

    5. Put up posters everywhere.

    6. Post on every local facebook page you can find....every day.

     

    I see facebook posts about missing cats all the time but then tend to forget about them. If I saw a cat in the street I probably wouldn't think it was a missing cat or connect it to the missing posts, unless the cat was particularly striking or had unusual features. So I absolutely hounded local facebook pages every day whilst I was in France (and used ALOT of internet!) and one evening I got a message from someone saying my cat was sitting in their garden and they had recognised him from my annoyingly frequent facebook posts!! He was 1 mile away from home, looking a little bit worse for wear, a bit thin and diagnosed with renal failure shortly after we found him (but he is 15), and I may have annoyed quite a few people, but so so so glad I got him home! I then kept him inside for another 2-3 weeks after finding him.

    Ever since we found him he does not really like going outside. It's nearly 1 year on and even now he will only go out when he really needs to pee. It's only been the last couple of weeks he will brave a 10 minute sunbathe. It's very sad as he used to like going out hunting in our old house :(

    Good luck I hope you find him xxx

  • MrsLjCMrsLjC Posts: 1,202 New bride

    That's a good idea about the litter, you could also try his favourite food outside or a treat/tuna but watch out for other cats! 

    One of my cats went missing and I was so worried I felt sick. He was stuck up a tree! It wasn't until me and fiancé were outside shouting on him we eventually heard meowing. If you are unsure if they'll check even ask if you can check with them. 

  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77
    Umbongo wrote (see post):

    "Sorry to hear this :(

    My cat went missing last year when I was on holiday in France. I had an awful holiday and all I could think about was him. He is my baby. He is a lap cat with only one eye so I feared the worst for him.

    Things you can try:

    1. If you have a litter tray & litter that he has recently used, put this outside for him to sniff out.

    2. Have you contacted all the vets in your area or just the one you are registered at? I would contact them all, and any local rescues. Although if he was found and taken to them then his chip will be scanned anyway. 

    3. Contact your chip company and alert them that he is missing. This should put an alert on his chip for is he is found and scanned. Make sure all your contact details phone numbers/email/address etc on the chip are correct.

    4. Have you been back to your old house to see if he has made his way back there? Can you ask your old neighbours to keep an eye out for him. 

    5. Put up posters everywhere.

    6. Post on every local facebook page you can find....every day.

     

    I see facebook posts about missing cats all the time but then tend to forget about them. If I saw a cat in the street I probably wouldn't think it was a missing cat or connect it to the missing posts, unless the cat was particularly striking or had unusual features. So I absolutely hounded local facebook pages every day whilst I was in France (and used ALOT of internet!) and one evening I got a message from someone saying my cat was sitting in their garden and they had recognised him from my annoyingly frequent facebook posts!! He was 1 mile away from home, looking a little bit worse for wear, a bit thin and diagnosed with renal failure shortly after we found him (but he is 15), and I may have annoyed quite a few people, but so so so glad I got him home! I then kept him inside for another 2-3 weeks after finding him.

    Ever since we found him he does not really like going outside. It's nearly 1 year on and even now he will only go out when he really needs to pee. It's only been the last couple of weeks he will brave a 10 minute sunbathe. It's very sad as he used to like going out hunting in our old house :(

    Good luck I hope you find him xxx"

    Thank you for your response. Roxy is my baby too, he was the first pet me and my fiancee brought together.

    1. Yes I've herd this and we have done this.

    2. Yes I've conatcted the vets and they said they will pass the details onto their colleagues and post about him on their Facebook page. They did say that any cat who is brought in gets scanned straight away.

    3. I didn't think of contacting the chip company isn't their a cost for their help? Obviously I would pay but I'm not sure how to go about this?

    4. My soon-to-be-sister-in-law and soon-to-be-father-in-law now live in the house we used to live so if they see them they would tell us instantly.

    5. I'm going to put up fliers everywhere including through neighbours letter boxes.

    6. Yeah I will do.

    Thank you so much for your 6 tips, although I've already done most of them I appreciate you taking the time to give me those suggestions.

    I'm so glad you found your cats, Roxy is very unusual looking he is a blue colour and long haired, he's the kind of cat you would definetly remember seeing, he's stunning. I have never seen a cat even close to what Roxy looks like so I'm hoping someone will see him and recognise him quite easily. I am going to do everything I can to find him.

    xx

  • Angelamay87Angelamay87 Posts: 153

    I'm sorry to hear your cat is missing, I work in pet insurance and want to share some of the things that we tell our customers in the same situation 

    1. Check who the microchip is registered with its either going to be anibase or pet log, you can check this on both websites

    Once you know you can go onto the lost/found section and put up a post and report your pet missing too

    2. Check neighbours gardens to see if your cat has been trapped anywhere e.g sheds 

    3. Notify your local vets and ones a little further out. Also notify rescue centres and wardens

    4. There is a website called cat aware where you can post him missing and will open the search to the local community 

    5. Check in your own home to see if he has nested anywhere or hiding

    6. Put his litter tray outside as he could pick up the scent

    You mentioned your partner is making posters which is excellent! If you are considering a reward do not put the reward amount on the leaflet just advise reward offered

    There is a company called animal search UK that make posters and have tools to help advertise missing pets

    If you need anymore advice please pm me! I hope for a safe return x

     

  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77
    AutumnBride30 wrote (see post):

    "That's a good idea about the litter, you could also try his favourite food outside or a treat/tuna but watch out for other cats! 

    One of my cats went missing and I was so worried I felt sick. He was stuck up a tree! It wasn't until me and fiancé were outside shouting on him we eventually heard meowing. If you are unsure if they'll check even ask if you can check with them."

    We'v been putting his favorite foods out for him every night. There are barely any other cats in their area (it's very much a dog friendly area) and our gardens slope downwards so it's not as common to get other cats in our gardens but we will soemtimes. The first night the food wasn't touched, then this morning someone ate the food, I'm hoping it was Roxy as the other cats were indoors so it couldn't have been any of them but it's just impossible to know for sure. My friend and colleague suggested we get a camera up which is quite a good idea but I'm usure how to go about it and money is tight (I am getting married soon).

    I'm glad you found your cat, it is heartbreaking. I hope I find Roxy xxx

     

  • NightsparkNightspark Posts: 566

    I have no advice but didnt want to read and run, I hope you find Roxy, please try not to worry but I do hope you find xx

  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77
    Angelamay87 wrote (see post):

    "I'm sorry to hear your cat is missing, I work in pet insurance and want to share some of the things that we tell our customers in the same situation 

    1. Check who the microchip is registered with its either going to be anibase or pet log, you can check this on both websites

    Once you know you can go onto the lost/found section and put up a post and report your pet missing too

    2. Check neighbours gardens to see if your cat has been trapped anywhere e.g sheds 

    3. Notify your local vets and ones a little further out. Also notify rescue centres and wardens

    4. There is a website called cat aware where you can post him missing and will open the search to the local community 

    5. Check in your own home to see if he has nested anywhere or hiding

    6. Put his litter tray outside as he could pick up the scent

    You mentioned your partner is making posters which is excellent! If you are considering a reward do not put the reward amount on the leaflet just advise reward offered

    There is a company called animal search UK that make posters and have tools to help advertise missing pets

    If you need anymore advice please pm me! I hope for a safe return x"

     Thank you so much for responding and sharing your knowledge, I honestly appreciate it so much.

    1. He's registered with Anibase, I will try that thank you.

    2. I have been checking but will continue to do so.

    3. I have notified vets but not that many of them but I will do.

    4. Thank you for that, I have just registered on that website.

    5. I know he isn't in the house but I will keep checking our garden.

    6. A few people have suggested the same so I will defenitely do that.

    Yeah we are planning on putting them through letter boxes as well as around the area.

    Thank you I will do xx

     

  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77
    Nightspark wrote (see post):

    "I have no advice but didnt want to read and run, I hope you find Roxy, please try not to worry but I do hope you find xx"

     

    Thank you for responding. Hopefully we will find him soon xx

     

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