My Parents Are Stressing Me Out.
Problems with parents seams to be one of the most common topics on this forum. I'm in the exact same position with my parents, well it's my Mum and her Boyfriend, my Dad hasn't caused any issues (yet).
They keep taking over all the time and when we don't do something they like they go off on one. My uncle has proffesional photography equipment but he is NOT a photographer, he is not professional! So we as the Bride and Groom have hired a photgragher of our choice for OUR wedding and my Mum went crazy at me saying it's a waste of money when my uncle could have done it bla bla bla, well I'm sorry but as well as him not be professional anyway, I also want my uncle to actually be in the photos! We hired the photographer we wanted and we are both extremely happy with him but the grief we got for it is ridiculous.
Now my Mum's boyfriend is paying for our caterer as our wedding present which I thought was really lovely of him and I really appreciate it, however I'm not at all happy with the caterer they chose. The first meeting with him, he was half an hour late and then my Mum told me on Sunday that they had been trying to get in contact with the caterer for the last two weeks and he hadn't answered any of his calls or his emails, they only got in touch by physically driving down to his cafe! He is so flakey and unprofessional, he also has no regard for what we as the Bride and Groom want for our reception menu, he's doing random spiced things that none of us have ever tried such as pineapple with paprika that just sounds horrible to me and I HATE spiced foods. My fiancee isn't keen on chocolate, we said this to the caterer so for desert he's making chocolate brownies and a chocolate fountain, that's great for me I love chocolate but what about some of the other guests who, just like the Groom; are not that keen on chocolate deserts and yes there are a few who would prefer a fruit based desert. I'm just really not happy about it.
I told my Mum my concerns and I said it in the nicest way possible and also included things such as "What are your thoughts?" "How do you feel about this?" I tried to make it as nice and as much about her as I could even though in reality me and my fiancee should have the final say!
I understand they are paying for the caterer, I understand my wedding is only just over 5 weeks away so we really don't have time to make a dramatic change such as a new caterer, I completely understand why they are really annoyed but I want it to be right and this caterer is not right for my wedding. We will find an alternative.
My Mum agrees with me that he's flakey and unproffesional and should be doing more for us but she said she doesn't want us to cancel as "it would make us look like fools". I don't care if we look like fools! This is MY wedding and we are not happy! The caterer isn't even suppliying cutlery, table cloths or any drinks so what we are paying to hire all that stuff and the amount it's costing us on drinks, we end up not actually saving anything by them paying for the caterer in the first place. I would prefer us to pay for a caterer that we are happy with, then my parents pay and we end up with an unproffesional caterer and possibly not enjoy the food that's being cooked for our reception.
I don't know what to do, I've tried being nice about it, I've tried just saying it as it is but they will make it hell for us if we choose not to go for that caterer. I've tried telling them that I am more than happy to speak to the caterer myself and see if he can change the menu and prove he's not flakey but in the mean time I will enquire elsewhere to keep my options open just in case he can't do what we want. I don't see how that's unreasonable?