My bridesmaids

My bridesmaids from day one have been disagreeable about the choice of dress colour style etc. There was a lot of calling the shots from day one and I was told the things that I wasn't allowed to go for.  Which is fine but the insults I have received on my choices have been awful. I decided that I'd had enough of the insults and bad behaviour that I have cancelled the bridesmaids now. I don't regret what I've done and I have the full support of my husband to be, but the BM's are not happy about being relived of their duties.  I have endured the insults and snide comments for six months now And just couldn't bear the thought of going through the long faces on my wedding day. My BMs are all adults. The colour of the dresses was the wrong shade for all of them but when they tried them on they looked just beautiful. My BMs range from a size 8 to a size 14 so a simple style was what I needed. I took the advice of my friend who is a wedding dress consultant. I just feel so upset that it has come to this. Your thoughts please??


  • Sophie177Sophie177 Posts: 190

    as hard as it is, id say you've done the right thing.  if they question why you've "fired" them, just tell them the truth, that the childish behaviour was getting too much and not worthy of a bridesmaid.  the only diva allowed in the wedding party is the bride!

    as regards to a BM dress to suit all of them, it should be your final decision, but i'd get their opinions only to help you work out what that decision might be.  don't be afraid of having different styles or colours to make sure BMs are comfortable in their outfit.  BUT it is still YOURS which is the final say so!

    hope that helps


  • Joanie311Joanie311 Posts: 3

    Thank you I took on board some of the ideas they had but because I made the final decision on the dress they weren't happy. When I gave them half a dozen differnt shoes to choose from (my decision was final) they didn't like any of them and weren't happy that I had the final vote on the style. They wanted to wear their own choices but me pay for them!!!  With regard to hair and make up I said whatever they individually wanted as one style would not be possible as some of them have very short and some very long hair.  It's been hard to be honest and I feel awful that they are not involved. They are my partners offspring as well so that has made it difficult. I feel soooo torn by it all. 😥

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  • Joanie311Joanie311 Posts: 3

    Thank you so much. I've told them it isn't happening already so unfortunately peace could not be preserved. Toys have well and truly been thrown out of Prams!! I'm sure they will get over it. Our relationship together has been very up and down but on this one the OH has supported. I think because he saw and heard some of the comments with his own eyes and ears He was horrified.  I didn't get much choice on weather they were going to be BMs my OH assumed and I just went with it  sounds awful but they are all adults with their own kids and there is one that I just cannot take to she has rode rough shot over my feelings from the start (politics re her mother) and I really didn't want to have her but didn't get much choice  so it's been an awful roller coaster from start to finish!!  I can't wait for 2017 when the wedding will be here. 


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