Bridesmaid help!

Hi guys,

I'm going to try and trim this story down a bit so I don't bore you too much. My fiancé and I got engaged last summer and our wedding is next July. Straight after the proposal I asked 3 of my best friends to be my bridesmaids, pretty much on the same phonecall in which I told them I was engaged. Looking back, I wish I had taken my time and really thought about my decision. Whilst the 3 seemed to be excited for me, on the call to my MOH she complained that she couldn't believe I was engaged before her and the other two were of similar conversations. I let it go over my head and paid no attention.

Fast forward to my engagement drinks, and the 3 turn up 3 hours late, my MOH was ridiculously drunk as was one other BM. their behaviour was commented on by my other friends and some family members. 

Over the space of the last year my friendship with all 3 has completely broken down, and I'm now down 3 bridesmaids And 3 best friends. My mother and my future mother in law have stressed the importance of having a BM with me on the day of my wedding. But I feel like it's once bitten, twice as shy, and I'm really struggling with who to ask, and whether whoever I ask will feel second best.

I have two other close friends, who have supported me with what's happened between me and the other girls. one is getting married this year and the other has just been asked to be MOH at her other friends wedding in 2018. It sounds silly but I part of me doesn't want to ask friend 1 just now in case it takes away from her wedding and part of me isnt sure whether to ask friend 2 as shes already someone else's MOH. Does that sound silly? Does anyone have any advice?



  • wed172Bwed172B Posts: 1,258

    Why dont you just talk to your friends about it, i was asked to be a bridesmaid after the fact by a friend, originally she was just having family but wanted to include me after i helped her out so a similar situation, i was not offended but happy to be asked.

    I would say to them you really appreciate their support recently and would therefore love for them to be involved in your day as bridesmaids, if this is something they want. leave it up to them to decide if their wedding / other friends wedding will mean they have enough on their plate or not

  • LottsLotts Posts: 38

    I can understand why you want to really think about it before asking anyone else after what happened to you with your previous bridesmaids and that is totally understandable.  You still have a while before you need to make a decision too. 

    All i would say is please don't not ask them to be bridesmaids because of other weddings.  I have been a bridesmaids twice this year and am also getting married myself but i was nothing but honoured to be asked and to be involved in my friends special days.  I'm sure they would feel the same :)

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