Guest list trouble :-(

Help please. My fiancée doesn't want my sisters bf at our wedding. We're getting married abroad and he has already paid. It's in like 3 months and after an altercation between the 2, he is now demanding he doesn't come. I'm so torn I want him there for my sister and I'm worried my fiancée can't just let him come to keep the peace. It's upsetting to be put in this position at such a late stage. We're such a close family I don't want any bad feeling. Advice appreciated x


  • Sophie177Sophie177 Posts: 190

    I think you should talk to your H2B, find out just how big the 'altercation' was... fisticuffs? or just words?  who was in the wrong/right? and also could you find out what it was about.  you should also talk to your sister about it, what does she know about it, gently explain the situation you're in and see what she says and see what you can do to work it out.

    I appreciate what an upsetting time this is for you, but to me there sounds like a lot of unanswered questions before you can work out what to do.

    hope you manage to get it sorted ahead of your big day x

  • wed172Bwed172B Posts: 1,258

    Agree with Sophie, without knowing the details can't really give you any advice, totally depends on what actually happened. At the end of the day this is you and H2B's day and if this guy has really crossed a line i can understand H2B not wanting him there, very difficult situation as you've said, someones gonna be upset whatever the decision :( hope you can sort it out.

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Ouch, poor you being stuck in the middle, definitely think you need to try and get to the bottom of exactly what went on. But ultimately its is your fiancé's wedding so you should probably put his wishes first if he is being rational. Maybe Sisters boyfriend could come for the holiday but not to the actual wedding? Maybe your H2B will be feeling the love closer to the time and change his mind.

  • MrsDee7MrsDee7 Posts: 272 New bride

    Oh no! You just want everything to be perfect on the day and certainly don't want any worries about family politics! 

    Think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot - imagine if you'd fallen out with the girlfriend of your H2Bs brother (for example)...? 

    Since we don't know what's gone on between them, and you probably won't want to share that, it's really hard to say what the best solution is. It's not for us to judge anyway. I wonder if you could talk to your mum or even your sister about it since they'll know the situation a little better? 

    Rachel x

  • If your h2b is adamant maybe as above poster suggests he can come for holiday but not to wedding? or even to holiday and evening part but not main bit of the day? To try and compromise as sure your sister will want her bf there but it is yours and your h2b's day.. very tricky x

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