To ask or not to ask? Bridesmaid problems!
I'm super new to this site but definitely not new to planning my wedding! I'm getting married next July on a Friday. I've recently found out that my one and only potential BM (I was planning on asking her for Christmas) will be graduating the week of my wedding in July, possibly even my actual wedding day! I've asked her when she'll know for sure but she's said she doesn't know and I can tell she's getting increasingly annoyed with my nagging, obviously because she doesn't know she's my possible BM and I'm anxious to know she'll make it! I know that she'll probably be able to give me plenty of notice for my wedding day but in terms of her being my BM or not, I need to know by New year and she would probably have to make a decision to be BM or not based on an "if".
Of course I would be gutted if she couldn't make it, but I would also never ask her to miss her graduation for me. I don't want to make her feel pressured by still asking her, but I feel like unless she knows exactly where we stand in this, it's not fair on her to make that decision. I've been in a "if I'd have known" situation with a friend before that ended badly.
So do I ask her earlier than planned and give her time to decide for herself, hoping it doesn't make her feel pressured or make the decision to not ask her and just hope she can still come as a normal guest? I just want this all to be sorted one way or another, it's an extra stress I just don't need, my bridal party have been the biggest stress of my wedding so far!