Undesirable guests

Anyone have people on your guestlist you would really rather not be there?

I am generally chuffed with ours but we now have a 25-year-old coming who I have never met. My only knowledge of this girl is via social media, where she regularly remarks on H2B’s pics with lone lovehearts or X's. He finds it strange but told me that she once did work experience at his business and was a nightmare - major issues and was uncomfortably flirtatious. She recently tagged him in a throwback to when she worked at his place, saying she’ll have to come back as it’s probably longing for a woman’s touch again. I spend a lot of time at his work and found it a bit disrespectful to both me and his actual female employee who is lovely!

It transpires that one of his good friends is now dating this girl and bringing her to our wedding as his plus one. There’s not much I can really do but there are so many other people I would rather have there and spend our money on.


  • HailsHails Posts: 2,455

    I'm sure on the day you won't even notice. At least it's only one person too! 

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,208 New bride

    Unfortunately that's the problem when guests are allowed a 'plus one' - you can't choose who they bring!

    We specified on our invites 'named guests only' so that meant anyone who had an other half who we didn't know didn't get to come. Sounds harsh but we had to limit numbers and would rather have people we know celebrate with us. The general rule was if a couple was married/engaged or we'd met both of the couple in question they got an invite, anyone else didn't unfortunately.

    The only problem we had with this was one of my OH's friends RSVP'd (to the day!) with his girlfriends food choice, even though neither of us had met her before & she wasn't on the invite. We said to him we couldn't accommodate her during the day (we were up to max day numbers with no drop outs) but she was quite welcome to come to the evening reception. They both ended up coming just to the evening. We know who wears the trousers in that relationship!

    On the positive side as Hails said you will not notice on the day - you'll be too busy celebrating everyone you do know!

  • SammykateSammykate Posts: 3,964 New bride

    If you give open +1s then unfortunatley you lose control over who is at the wedding. We have only given named invites, no +1s.

  • I do wish we had thought the plus one concept through more. We actually only gave open plus ones to about four guests who probably wouldn't know many other people there - but unfortunately this one has gone a bit wrong!

    MrsE that's really lame of your OH's friend to not come to the day because of his girlfriend - what a diva. I'd totally understand if H2B was invited to a wedding without me if they had never met me before and it was nice of you to extend an evening invite.

    You're all probably right though, I won't even notice on the day. Maybe I'll like her when I meet her... if my catty side allows 

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Theres a girl coming to ours who I cant stand, a friends long term partner. Shes just sickeningly fake nice and two faced now, after getting pulled up on being unnecessarily rude and bitchy when I first met her (blanking me when I spoke to her, slagging me off behind my back etc), and I just know shell be sat there being her usual self all day picking faults with everything and thinking shes better than every one else (when actually shes from a family of prisoners and im from a family of prison officers 😂).

    But itd be rude not to invite her so shell be there and Ive decided to just be polite when I have to be and forget her for the rest of the day.

    We also have another 'plus one' who is an abusive wife beating alcoholic who always ends up getting the police called so ive decided he wont be getting an invite because Im just not having it. Awkward convo to be had there but really, she knows what hes like so Im sure she wont be surprised.

  • MrsE2016MrsE2016 Posts: 1,208 New bride

    He gave the excuse of 'I forgot I was invited to the day' - to be honest we didn't even notice till everyone sat down for dinner & there was a spare place!!!

    Our wedding photographer ended up sitting down with our guests and having food which was a nice bonus as everyone loved her :-) 

  • How disrespectful! Can't stand women like that ugh!! I have TWO undesirable guests coming to our wedding, lucky me!! Not because I want them there but mostly because don't want to cause any fallouts. The guest list has probably been the most stressful!

  • Mrs17Mrs17 Posts: 860 New bride

    I don't think youll notice this girl on the day!

    I don't have any undesirable guests at the moment (we were cutthroat lol!) but I think we will probably have an undesirable turn up in the evening! The family have already had some in-fighting over this guest, and my OH is saying that if he turns up, he'll throw him out... So that'll be fun! We aren't having any evening guests, so if he does show up, it will be noticeable...

    I agree MrsCrawley, the guest list is seriously hard work, and I don't understand why everyone feels they should get an opinion. Ahhh! Oh my goodness MrsE2016, how rude to just 'forget'! Lucky photographer

  • MrsJohnstontobe your undesirables sound horrific. I did laugh at the prisoner background though versus yours - she will be well & truly outnumbered! I'm sure someone will put her in her place if she tries to comment. Tell the photographer to point his lens away from her!

    MrsE - so he didn't even formally turn decline, he just didn't show up? That's awful! I'll bet he was given an ultimatum of sorts. They're never gonna last at that rate.

    Mrs Crawley, women like that are the worst huh? Her own facebook page mainly consists of pout & cleavage selfies. OH has tried to warn his friend about her but it wasn't well received. Sorry to hear you have two guests you could do without. Are they plus ones as well? Guestlist is definitely the most trying part!

  • Oh no WIbble2017 it sounds as though your guest in question has some history. I don't know how people like that have the front to show up at a wedding where they are clearly not wanted. And your OH won't want to feel any element of stress on his day. Family politics are tough - I hope he does you all a favour and stays away!

  • Anna41Anna41 Posts: 14

    Ah, bugger! That's so unlucky! Try not to spend any time thinking about it though, You definitely wont notice her on the day - you'll have so many other lovely people to turn your focus into!

  • Thanks Anna - you are right I doubt I'll even notice her and by all accounts, they may not even still be together by then.

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