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Need to rant!

Hi girls!

I haven't posted on here for a while but felt like I needed a good rant!

Whilst wedding planning it seems I cant do anything without offending someone.

In the process of getting our invitation draft done and have come up with wording.

My parents have very kindly gave us £3000 and my fiancés parents have also given the same so we are footing the majority of the wedding cost!

My parents have kicked off about our names as hosts on the invites and not theirs as they think this "is tradition" we have put under our names "together with their families" so I don't see what the issue is?!

I am getting sooooo stressed at having constant agro over such small things!

 

Posts

  • It could be that despite them not mentioning it, it could be something they felt entitled to for their contribution towards your wedding. Maybe have a frank conversation with them to be sure they wont make any other demands in future? 

  • I have found that a lot of problems stem from the generational gap. It is amazing how traditions have evolved in the last few decades. I have been regularly reminded that it was always tradition for the parents to decide on the guestlist. Also parents never had the selection of grand venues that we have - apparently they would hire the local village hall. Even the cake, the horror that we aren't having a fruit layer!

    And don't get me started on the gift requests... they are convinced we will end up with a bunch of household appliances if we don't include a request.

  • I had the same issue with my mum. She just kept going 'well I thought you were havign a traditional wedding' in a really sulky tone. Problem is, both sets of parents are contributing, as are we, and we didn't want to exclude my h2b's parents. Plus my parents are divorced so that would have just lead to a wording minefield! In the end I just had to realise it's our wedding and to be perfectly honest, my mother would always find something to criticise, even if she made every decision!

  • LeeLawLeeLaw Posts: 107 New bride

    I would argue back that if it's "tradition" to have their names on the invite, that it's also "tradition" for them to pay for the whole wedding. Can't have one without the other, so if they want it to seem like they're hosting the wedding then they better cough up!

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993
    LeeLaw wrote (see post):

    I would argue back that if it's "tradition" to have their names on the invite, that it's also "tradition" for them to pay for the whole wedding. Can't have one without the other, so if they want it to seem like they're hosting the wedding then they better cough up!

    Lol! My thoughts exactly!

  • Anna41Anna41 Posts: 14

    I think what you wrote was spot on and completely agree with LeeLaw. 

  • Whilst I do agree with LeeLaw that traditionally your parents should pay. Both sets of parents are contributing a significant amount of money (even if it's not significant compared to your overall budget - I don't know what that is), and so you are hosting together with your families and in my opinion it's only right to acknowledge this.

  • thank you all for your feedback! I think we have got somewhere! xx

  • This is a topic that I know is going to have my mum ranting about, but it will just be in a long line of rants so it's getting boring now.

    We're actually doing the invites from our daughter as a way to get her involved and she loves it when the post comes so when the post comes and it's for her, she'll be over the moon!

    My parents have contributed to our wedding also, but it was in the guise of a wedding gift so if she starts putting conditions on it (again!) then she can definitely have the money back this time!

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