Redacted - thank you all for the advice!
Wow. You have a lot to deal with. I think you just need to come out with it and tell her directly. So sorry about your Grandma. xx
It's strange how so many lovely brides on here seem to have that one friend who they have to involve through fear of upsetting, at the expensive of true friends. I only asked my sister to be BM in the end, as I had two candidates who would never have forgiven me if I asked other friends but didn't ask them, but I just knew they would make everything 10 times more stressful.
Could you exploit the fact she is expecting and suggest that it will cause too many complications with the dress and put her under too much pressure when she should be focusing on her pregnancy?
Wow sounds like your friend is a bit of a nightmare. I think you are in the right asking her to come only as a guest but I think you have to accept that if you do the friendship might be over. People don't tend to take that kind of this well.
Im having a similar issue matron of honour not getting involved and nearly causing embarrassing situation in front of wedding planner!
I agree with others let her down gently as you can. I cant with mine as she is my only person i could ask.
some people just get so jealous they cant cope with others happiness can they? Poor you i hope you get her sorted and can focus on your day:)