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Don't know what to do?

My best friend is one of my bridesmaids. The bridesmaids day it out is all arranged for a date next month and has been for the past eight weeks. My friend calls round today for a general catch up and  says... ''what date is the bridesmaids day out?' I told her it was Saturday the 11th march? She said 'oh, I'm only asking as my other friends have arranged a day out to a hair convention on tha same day?'' It's already paid for and been booked since before Christmas? Anyway... i said, as a few of us have jobs ect, the date can not be changed. She said what time will it be at, I said 11 but then we are going for afternoon tea afterwards. She was like... 'ohh, I'll have to get the train to Manchester straight after to meet my friends. Plus the dress I have chose all the girls like but I did mention today, it could possibly be changed on the day if all the bridesmaids prefer? She says, oh no it'll have to be that one as it covers her chest area? I just don't know what to or think plus I feel on edge. Worrying what the day will bring? I will feel on pins rushing as she will have to get off to catch the train. I do feel hurt tbh. It's a very special time and day. I know people have other commitments ect. What should I do? Thanks in advance. ;)


  • Sarah398Sarah398 Posts: 266

    Is your friend normally unorganised like this?

    Don't worry about being rushed on the day, relax & enjoy let her do the worrying about where she should be & where she is going later, don't rush your day for her - best friend or not.

    As for the dress, she is just having a knee jerk reaction to the thought of it changing - who's to say if the dress does change then it wont cover her chest just the same?

    Feeling a bit on edge is going to be quite normal as it is a big time in a girls life all this getting married business & we all want it to go well & with everyone having as great a time as we are having.

  • Thank you very much. Wise words of comfort. Makes me feel a little better inside. Ah mean, "a hair convention? Come on. What if the tables where turned? ;) 

  • You really should tell her how you feel, if you dont then she will never know. I would tell her you have waited months for this and it's really important to you, you don't want it to be rushed and want her to relax and have fun. If she doesn't  get the message then maybe give her the boot. It's an important day and she need to start treating it as such!

  • Your so right, but the thing is I feel a bit worried about her reaction as she can sometimes be a ticking time bomb as such. Hopefully things will get back on track? I think if the tables where turned it would be totally different story? Thank you so much for you kind words of truth. I do feel a bit two faced to be honest doing this... coz this is not how I work' it's just that I really don't appreciate it when people who you are so close too can be quite less enthusiastic about your life ect' but if it is their life you have to get the pom poms out; so to speak! 😌

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    All the girls like the dress, why would you change it?


    If she is a large chested lady she might be worried about her boobs hanging out. I would just leave it.

  • you should be able to talk to a friend in a kindly way to let her know how you feel. If she is a ticking bomb that makes you afraid to say how you feel then you have to ask yourself whether she is worth keeping as a friend. Friendshi should be an equal 2 way relationship. I do understand how you feel though. I hope you manage to work it out.

  • Col-macCol-mac Posts: 6

    That's very good advice... thank you both so much. I went away for the weekend last week and I put up some pics of the wedding venue ect on social media, to my surprise she never interacted in anyway, as she always once did? I'm confused at her behaviour really? many thanks again for your support and advice. x 

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