Flaky friend invited on my Hen Do has got me anxious
I am new to participating in wedding forums - though have frequently creeped them for inspiration since getting in engaged in November!
This isn't so much a problem I expect there to be an answer to, but i want to gage of other b2bs are experiencing the same thing with friends in the run-up to their big day.
We're getting married in November this year and my bridesmaids, all of whom are incredibly organised and thoughtful, sent an email three weeks ago about the hen do.
Obviously, I am not sure how detailed it was. I know the date has been decided (end of October) but am happy to stay out of it. Except on one matter.
There is a friend of mine who I have known for 12 years now, since uni. We were incredibly close and there was a time when I imagined she would play a large part in my wedding and planning.
She has always had a volatile nature and often a nasty temper, but in essence is/ was a good egg and a good friend. Over the last 2 years, she has become incredibly flaky.
She frequently cancels plans on the night or near to it; she'll suggest doing something then never follow it up; she'll not commit to my suggestions and I'll have to chase her; she is often quite short and brusque with me; and the last few group things she has organised she largely ignored me - apart from her birthday when she waxed lyrical to her colleagues about how I was one of her "besties".
When I have tried to broach the matter she has become defensive and made me feel unreasonable. What is odd is that she's good friends also with one of my bridesmaids, and when she's in town (she lives overseas) tells her she "misses me". She seems to be happy for me though and does ask about the wedding and planning. It doesn't make sense but her behaviour makes me feel really bad.
When I try to ask her about her life and make an effort to be in it, I don't get a response. My other half keeps saying to have her as an 'evening guest' only, and I ummed and ahhed over inviting her on the Hen as I fear she will inevitably bail.
Now, three weeks after the email has been sent, one of bridesmaids has said they have not even had an acknowledgment of it.
I don't want to sound like a bridezilla, but with all the emotion of this year, and all the heightened feelings I have about people attending (does anyone else have this?) I do sort of want people to respond - even if they can't make it.
It's also respectful of the time my bridesmaids are putting in. Having planned a friend's hen, I have a renewed appreciation for the work that goes in.
Said friend also bailed on my birthday last minute and is vague about meeting up again.
Is uninviting her too drastic and a little bit mean? Is it worth talking to her? Part of me thinks our friendship has run its course so should leave it at that and remove her from the hen email chain...