No reply or acknowledgement of invites we have sent ou

No reply or acknowledgement of invites we have sent out. Whoops on the typo in the title :p

My wedding is in July 2017. We sent out our invites at around the end of Jan so people had enough warning to let their work know in times as a lot of people going to the wedding work in health care, social care etc plus its the summer holidays during our wedding and many people go abroad then so they need a lot of warning.

 

What got to me was, about 90% of people I sent invites to didn't even send me a message to say thank you or that they even received the invite. I know that no one can tell me if they can 100% make it atm which is fine but at least a thank you or letting me know they got the invite and that it didn't get lost in the post would have been nice. It was mainly people from my partner's side such as his aunts who just totally ignored the invite so sooner or later, I'm going to have to chase them all up and see what is happening.

I'm just a bit hurt as we made the invites ourselves which took a lot of time. To be fair though, I don't really know much about weddings so maybe this is the norm.

 

Sorry if this seems really shallow and petty, just having one of those days, I think! :(

Posts

  • OKCharlieOKCharlie Posts: 145 New bride

    I'm afraid I think this is the norm. I got a few excited messages from people I'm close to, but didn't hear anything from the majority and had to chase over 50% over the guests up after the deadline for RSVP's had passed. Don't let it it get to you, it's not personal!

  • bella2015bella2015 Posts: 1,903 New bride

    Like OK Charlie has said this is the norm unfortunately. As you've sent the invites out really early a lot of people won't be thinking that far ahead yet. 

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    I could have written this myself! Wedding in July, most of the invites were sent Jan. Of those, exactly half have responded, the other half haven't even acknowledged them!! I agree with you, it is very rude. I, like you, made the invites myself and this literally took me months, and even those that have replied, most of them didn't bother saying how lovely it was and literally just sent the RSVP back. I think if I was considered a close enough friend to someone to be invited to their wedding, I would be so excited and make sure I post something on FB or text them etc to show my excitement.

    I just think that us brides, involved in all things wedding, live in our own little wedding world and have to accept that those people not living in our little world just have no idea how they could be making us feel. I think it is very common, and a general theme of wedding planning and I am sure that this theme will carry on to the day and after where people just aren't going to be as excited about how perfect your bouquet is, or how wonderfully creative your centrepieces are, or how stunning your photos are. It sucks, but that is what this forum is for as we will always be excited about all things wedding

  • Emily54Emily54 Posts: 266 New bride

    We had to chase our RSVPs to. We even put in a reply card to make it super easy for them. Never mind they turned up on the day which is what counts x

  • Dora3Dora3 Posts: 1,218

    I can sooooo relate to this! My invites were actually posted by my friend who put them together for me. I didn't ask / expect her to post them but she did bless her. The only people who actually acknowledged the invites were my BMs, sister and H2Bs family. As i didn't even see my invites before they went out that made me paranoid that I'd forgotten someone, so then had to contact all the guests I hadn't heard from to ensure they had received them. So annoying lol 

  • Rosegold017Rosegold017 Posts: 476

    Our RSVP deadline passed on Saturday and we are starting the chase up now. We were worried as we invited in total (day + evening) 190 people which was quite a bit over capacity. 130 have accepted so far, so I will happy with that number. Any that haven't replied will be missing out on some serious cake!

  • EXACTLY the same... don't take it personally but my GOD why cant people just reply! My wedding is July and RSVP deadline is next Friday (wedding abroad, I need numbers ASAP!) but so many people haven't returned them... even family! It's so annoying but I know I mentioned to one of my bms that I needed her menu choices and she was like oh god yeah its in my bedside drawer! So I think lots of people receive the invite then throw it in a cupboard or drawer and entirely forget 

    I'm ho[ing when we come to chasing it's a simple oh yeah sorry I completely forgot to send it back... I'm actually contemplating putting a post on social media just saying deadline date is next friday to remind people... don't know if thats okay or not in the world of wedding etiquette haha x

  • OKCharlieOKCharlie Posts: 145 New bride

    Oh the other thing I should add.. despite the lack of acknowledgement of receiving the invites and very slow RSVP's, when the wedding came, our guests were very excited about the wedding, were so supportive and we received so many messages from people saying how grateful they were to be part of it all. We were completely blown away by everyone's generosity and thoughtfulness, who made the whole day so special. I think invites are just generally a pain and were one of the most annoying parts of wedding planning for me! 

  • Dora3Dora3 Posts: 1,218
    Italy Bride 2017 wrote (see post):

    So I think lots of people receive the invite then throw it in a cupboard or drawer and entirely forget 

    This really made me LOL as it's soooo true! I got a message from NAN! Saying she put her invite somewhere safe and now can't find it 😂 She asked if she was still invited 😂 Bless Nan lol x

  • Katherine66Katherine66 Posts: 1,234

    I agree with above, this is normal you dont send a thankyou or acknowldge an invite until you are teady to reply to it.  You will just have to wait!

     

     I to am waiting and trying to resist pestering people for a response before the rsvp date has expired but once that date is past i will be gently asking for a response!!!   

  • Lucy266Lucy266 Posts: 176

    I don't think you can really complain until they miss the rsvp date.  Try and remember other people have a lot more going on their lives than your wedding!! 

  • HailsHails Posts: 2,455

    I don't expect people to let me know when they receive an invite but I know I will be annoyed with those who take forever to RSVP.

  • We personally delivered over half of our invitations so people then opened them in front of us. If it's the reaction of "oh this is beautiful!" that you are looking for I would say don't post the invitations as it's unlikely you will get that. Take the time to hand them out. People will really appreciate it and it also saves money on postage. My Fiancé has been as excited about reactions as me so seeing people open them really worked! 

    We also had 2 people RSVP on the spot and fill in the cards and give them back! Again just adds to the positive vibes! We also provided stamped addressed envelopes so that people have no real excuse about not replying. 

  • mrspea2bemrspea2be Posts: 275 New bride

    it really gets my back up ! what id love to say to people.......

    its costing me x amount to invite you, be grateful your getting a free meal and a load of entertainment

    you should be honoured that we think so much of you that we want you to be there all day to witness such a special occasion ! (i know you cant get out of inviting great aunt ethel but we have close friends we have invited to the day and they have not replied )

    the invited are gorgeous, i spent hours and hours scrolling through Pinterest and google, maybe even totalling to days if you totalled up the time minute by minute, to find the perfect one so please say you think its pretty even if you hate it !  

    no the whole world does not revolve around me just because I'm getting married, but I'm asking for one day in your entire summer ! your not commiting to buying a house with me just say yes or no !

    rant overs xxx

  • missmarvelmissmarvel Posts: 219

    Our deadline is Friday and we've had the parents start reminding people to reply, we did put a post on Facebook and only got one answer to it. We still have outstanding RSVPs that I'll now have to chase up. 

    We even hand delivered ours and some people didn't even bother opening them in front of us, they're the ones we are now chasing. 

    Its blooming frustsrating as everyone knows you have the RSVP date for reasons like catering etc but like someone mentioned they put them to one side and forget. 

  • Helen225Helen225 Posts: 861 New bride

    I agree it's massively frustrating - we're putting transport on but have no idea what size to book until we get the rsvps back. The company won't let us even provisionally book!

    The only thing I will say in their defence as I've been guilty of this myself - when people ask for a song request to 'make sure you get up and dance'. Im terrified of dancing, especially in front of people, so the invite literally sits there for months whilst I think about a song I could get away with pratting around to. If it's only food choices then you'll get it in a day lol but dancing... *shudder*

  • lubeslubes Posts: 1,555
    OKCharlie wrote (see post):

    Oh the other thing I should add.. despite the lack of acknowledgement of receiving the invites and very slow RSVP's, when the wedding came, our guests were very excited about the wedding, were so supportive and we received so many messages from people saying how grateful they were to be part of it all. We were completely blown away by everyone's generosity and thoughtfulness, who made the whole day so special. I think invites are just generally a pain and were one of the most annoying parts of wedding planning for me! 

    I completely agree with this - it was exactly the same for us!

    Yes, it's really frustrating - I always reply to an invite within a few days, I just don't get why you wouldn't?! - but it really isn't a reflection of how your guests feel about your day! x

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    Thanks Lubes that's good to know!

    Helen - we asked for a song, and my mum told me the other day that my brother is fretting about his song choice (he is into heavy metal) and that is why he hasn't replied (>2 months after sending and 4 days before the deadline)!! Made me chuckle - just send it blank if you really cant think of anything!

    She also said that he was worried he would put a song down he doesn't really like but is more of a crowd pleaser, and then I'd tell him off for not dancing?!?! As if I will remember who put what, clock each song when it comes on, and then tell my guests off for not having a good time...

  • CeeCeeCeeCee Posts: 134

    My deadline is Saturday and ive had 30 out of 70 back!

    Soo frustrating. Im going to make sure my chaser message to them slightly embarasses them! I.e. caterers need numbers confirmed and waitint for your reply. Gosh i can get the devil in me sometimes!

  • OKCharlieOKCharlie Posts: 145 New bride

    We had loads of people who said they were waiting to think of a song to RSVP too! Didn't occur to me when we put that on the invites it would delay people RSVP'ing!

  • wed172Bwed172B Posts: 1,258

    This is making me re-think including song choice on our RSVPs!! I've had them before but have never had these agonies on picking a song!

  • MrsMGMrsMG Posts: 360 New bride

    Thanks for the replies everyone :)

     

    I was having a really bad day when I made this thread with a lot going on and felt like everything was just doom and gloom but thankfully, I have contacted most of the people we have invited and they are sure they can make it and that has settled a little bit of my nerves. Found out my best friend can't make it though due to her being offered a summer job in America which is amazing and I am over the moon for her but obviously still a bit gutted she can't make the wedding

  • Helen225Helen225 Posts: 861 New bride

    Jenni - 🙈😂 sorry I am your nightmare ha ha! And yes, I fully expect you to remember my song!!! 😜

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