"Sorry it's been so long..."

Hello everyone!

I got engaged three months ago and since then a few old friends who haven't spoken to me in over a year have started coming out of the woodwork and suddenly regret their lack of effort, one even just straight up asked if they were invited to the wedding because they'd need to know!

Have any of you had this as well? How did you decide to deal with it?

Posts

  • MrsM2b4MrsM2b4 Posts: 45

    The way I dealt with it was not putting anything on Facebook or online about engagement- if i hadnt spoken to them or heard from them by the time I was doing my guest list then they didnt get an invite.... except family- that was the exception!

  • OKCharlieOKCharlie Posts: 145 New bride

    Do you want them there? If not, could you just invite them to the evening do? 

  • Katherine66Katherine66 Posts: 1,234

    I would t invite someone i havent been speaking to.  The cheek!!  

    Dont be pressurised  by .them 

     

  • MrsJamesMrsJames Posts: 406 New bride

    Personally I wouldn't invite someone who only got in touch to ask if they were invited. I think it's rude to expect to be invited to any wedding let alone one of someone you haven't spoken to in a year. 

    Had they not got in touch would they have been invited? If not then don't bother.

    Also do you really want them in your photos if they're going to dissappear again once the wedding is over?

  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride

    We've currently got this with people in our group of friends. The ones who haven't bothered with myself and my h2b are slowly creeping out the woodwork saying / assuming they'll be involved in the wedding! When all they've done is not bother with my h2b (only when it suited them and involved alcohol!) 

    We've not put anything on Facebook about it, the only way the 'friends' found out is because my h2b let it slip while having a few too many (his nephew sneakily had them meet up!) 

    so now they're all assuming they're invited to the wedding! One even turned to my h2b and said "oh! I better start on my best man speech!" 

    since my h2b letting it slip they've not bothered with him AT ALL so it'a safe to say they're not coming to our wedding - why should we invite people who clearly don't bother with us when we need them. Only when they have no one else! 

  • MrsNolanMrsNolan Posts: 683 New bride

    As for the one that has asked if they're invited, tell them you'll be sending out invites in [month] when the guest list is decided. Also tell them to politely fuck off as they are ungrateful idiots. Second part there is optional.

    Whatever you do, don't feel pressured into inviting these people. I think if you're life long friends and regularly have bouts of not being in touch so much that is one thing, but 'friends' that have made zero effort until they have something to gain... no invite.

  • Lucy266Lucy266 Posts: 176
    Ali217 wrote (see post):

    Hello everyone!

    I got engaged three months ago and since then a few old friends who haven't spoken to me in over a year have started coming out of the woodwork and suddenly regret their lack of effort, one even just straight up asked if they were invited to the wedding because they'd need to know!

    Have any of you had this as well? How did you decide to deal with it?

    Is this all so negative? Some of them might have heard the news and it prompted them to feel sad that they hadn't spoken to you for a while. Asking if they are invited *is* rude but simply getting in touch is quite nice!

  • MrsC2018MrsC2018 Posts: 191 New bride

    I have a friend who has turned into an acquaintance over the past few years, only see her once a year on a mutual friend's birthday. I have invited her to lots of events, always an ignore or a no. The final straw for not seeing her as a friend anymore came when she didn't come to my engagement celebration or at least send a card to say congratulations. I thought that's her off the guest list. Ha!

    Easy decision until I realised that I have a hen do to go on with her before my wedding whereas I can imagine she will be my best friend and ask me all about wedding plans. She is a lovely person but I don't see why I should invite someone who makes zero effort with me at all. I have a restriction on numbers so need to think about the guest list wisely anyway

  • LittleOne89LittleOne89 Posts: 388 New bride

    I'd just ignore them to be honest...but I have no patience for fairweather friends. 

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