Bridesmaid causing drama - please help.
I was just wondering what the etiquette was on the bride (me) requesting the bridesmaids to have a similar hairstyle on the day?
My mum is a hairdresser and we also have a stylist coming in on the day which I have paid for.
I sent a photo of the style I liked a few months back and understood that each bridesmaid has different hair types - for example long, curly, bleached etc so happy for all the bridesmaids to have a variation of the the style. (The style is half up, half down with curls. My MOH is having a twist at the back, one bridesmaid is having her fringe out and just clips at the back etc). But as long as from the front the two 'strands' are clipped back to show a look of unity and continuity. I've also brought them all hair accessories for this style too.
So, I put a message on the bridesmaid chat regarding them bringing some Kirby grips on the day (10 days away) and one of my bridesmaids replied that she has had her hair cut shorter than it was previously (from just have collar bone to ear lobe length) and up right refuses to do the hairstyle not because it won't work but because she doesn't like the way it looks.
I've been nothing but polite, understanding and patient but I'm receiving fertility treatment at the moment and this stress isn't helping me And the process. (perhaps why I'm making a deal out of it too!) Although, She's also been quite blunt to me in the chats and made me feel a bit of a nuisance and unworthy as if all my choices are wrong because that's not what she did for her wedding. I've come away near tears at times but never once bitten back.
Additionally, this has actually angered the other bridesmaids and has caused tension between 'them vs. Her' because this isn't the only thing she has made awkward for me (For example: we agreed to meet at 10am at the hotel the morning of the weddinn to get ready together but a few days ago she TOLD me she will be arriving at just gone midday and ready now. Which has upset me because I spent money on personalised dressing gowns, slippers and PJ's to all get ready in in the morning - including her. Also she kicked up a fuss which I tried so hard to stay level minded in because she wanted her husband in the 'get ready room' which I politely declined and earlier on in the planning started a quite verbally rude argument with my MOH (sister in law to be) when she made the final call on the hen do plans and wanted to wear her own wedding shoes instead of the selected bridesmaid shoes which again I had to politely challenge etc etc...)
I'm really upset at the way she is behaving as a bridesmaid and I feel heartbroken that a good friend of mine is making so much drama And upsetting so many of those I love. I feel as if I don't know the woman she is behaving like. One of my more placid bridesmaids said she was so upset by her actions towards me on the chat she sent her a private message to ask her to think about how her actions are making me feel. I don't know how the conversation went.
What would be your suggestion regarding the hair? Would you just let her do which ever style she'd like and not look like the other bridesmaids? Or, would you put your foot down a little and ask her to follow a variation of the style picked? I never want to seem like a bridezilla and want to think about everyone's feelings not only as my bridesmaids but my friends too.
Thank you for listening and apologies that this has turned into a bit of a rant!