Pre-wedding blues - family getting me down

Bless you! It does sound like its all just getting a bit much and everything is compounding to make every small thing seem massive - totally understandable!!

Why don't you 'curl up in a ball' tonight - just let yourself feel a bit sorry for yourself - go to bed early, have a long bath, eat a whole tub of ben and jerrys or drink some wine - whatever will cheer you up really!

My other advice would be stop spending energy on someone if your getting nothing back - if she'll kick off its not worth sacking her but if you leave the ball in her court and she doesnt sort a dress then she's sacked herself essentially - leave her to it and engage with her as little as possible! Don't stress yourself out over it - if you will need to pay for her trial either way then its her loss if she doesn't go - its super annoyoing as you've wasted the money but its too late now so try not to let it be any more of a waste by ruining the planning and excitement for you!




  • MissSMissS Posts: 267 New bride

    Aw you poor thing! Regarding your hen party- do your friends know that youre not going?? Surely they would tell your SIL to butt out! Or you could arrange another one and just not tell her! She sounds awful and very childish!!!

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    You should just ditch that bridesmaid if she won't even try on a dress


    I wouldn't expect the groom or grandparents of the groom to pay for the wedding. Maybe she's worried about her elderly father leaving himself short

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993

    Etiquette doesn't have to dictate who organises the hen Do, I organised my own (cheif bridesmaid , my daughter is only 10 so not up to the job!). I booked an Indian meal with everyone meeting in the local pub for a few cocktails, then the next day a few of us went to Thorpe park, everyone has told me how much they enjoyed themselves and even though I sorted it all I had a brilliant time, mainly because i kept it simple and did what I liked!!

  • wed172Bwed172B Posts: 1,258

    Lol to the 'choke' bit! I think that's all you can do really, put the ball in her court by phrasing it as a question and see how she responds. Fingers crossed :)

  • MrsK2017MrsK2017 Posts: 230 New bride

    Wow, she sounds painful! You seem to be handling this a lot better than I would. I always think that wedding bring out the worst in pain-in-the-arse family members. The thing is, if someone asks you to be a bridesmaid, you know there are going to be certain responsibilities that go along with that, at least trying on dresses / choosing your dress, and having your hair and makeup done or having someone do it for you. That's pretty standard. If you feel you're not going to be able to do it, why agree to be one? I can imagine it's hard to say no to someone when they ask, but if you can't reasonably do it, then why say yes?! 

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