Emotional support needed.....

Hello everyone.

I am struggling at the moment. My GP has signed me off with depression and re started me back on my meds. He has given me 2 weeks off work to rest and recoperate. 

I am feeling very low and have turned to food to cope. Since ordering my dress in January I have gained 9lbs and my dress is due in mid November. I am terrified it will not fit. The shop didn't measure me but instead ordered me a size smaller as they knew I wanted to lose 2.5-3 stone before the wedding and the sample was a little big.

They want me to go to get measured in September to see if I am near the measurements of the smaller size (my measurements are bang on the smaller size at the moment) and this is stressing me out even more. Even my dress I got for our engagement shoot (which I have postponed) is tight.

Tonight i am taking the plunge and rejoining slimming world where I lost 8 stone before over the last 5 years. I have also ordered some slimming tablets, Alli, to take to give me a boost and some aquaban water tablets as I retain water really bad.

I am not sure whether I can cope with starting a weight loss journey with how I am feeling at the moment but I don't have a choice.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer but I don't have anyone else to talk to. My H2B is amazing and he loves me how I am but I don't love me as I am right now.

Posts

  • Charlotte237Charlotte237 Posts: 274 New bride

    Aw You poor thing! Okay, firstly November is a long time away so no point worrying now in July! Secondly, if you're not well, your priority should definitely be on looking after yourself rather than being anxious about clothes not fitting and dieting into them!! That said, excercise and healthy eating are both excellent ways to boost mood so if you focus on doing both those things in an effort to look after yourself and to help you to feel better, rather than stressing about the dress, that would be a much healthier focus and you might pleasantly surprise yourself come September when you get measured! Slimming World is great- I've had lots of friends who have loved it so if you're enjoying it, stick with it - if not, find a different route! Everything I just said may not be helpful but didn't want to read and run! :) at the end the day, it's important to love yourself, but this should not be linked to size! PS I've been there before with depression and it's not an easy road but there is a lot of support here! The main thing is to look after yourself. hugs xx 

  • Ambam19Ambam19 Posts: 586 New bride

    Ok, first of all, chill. It's really good that you have recognised that you needed additional support and went to the GP. Restarting your meds is not a bad thing, it's something that will help you in the long run.

    Second, don't beat yourself up. 9lbs is not a lot in the grand scheme of 8 stone! (well done you by the way )

    Just do a little by little. If you were going to eat a sandwich and a chocolate bar and a pack of crisps....just go for 2 of the 3. If you're going to have a glass of coke, alternate each one with a glass of water or a cup of tea. These are my own habits here but I'm sure you get the idea.

    Don't stress. Have a bit of compassion for yourself. Life is tough sometimes and we all have our own coping mechanisms. Try to get some fresh air, even if it's only walking to the end of the garden and back twice a day. It will help you to feel a little better.

    The more pressure you put on yourself, the worse you will feel. There's no pressure except from you. If your dress doesn't fit then they will change it a bit to fit. It may not be what you want but sometimes life doesn't happen the way we want it to.

    There is no pressure for your wedding to be perfect. You and your lovely fiance are committing to eachother and showing everyone how much you love eachother. That is what is important 

    You CAN do this, just take it little by little xx

  • MrsGxMrsGx Posts: 329 New bride

    Sorry to hear you're struggling at the minute. I'm an emotional eater too so I understand how hard it is when you're not allowing yourself the thing that you seek comfort in.

    Firstly, well done on your weight loss so far, that is amazing!

    If you're re-joining Slimming World tonight then you've already taken a positive step! And you've proven you can do it before, so you can do it again.

    Also, if you're currently bang on the smaller size of the dress, then your goal is perfectly within reach, at the moment the bare minimum you need to do is maintain where you are.

    Really hope you feel better soon x

  • MrsJamesMrsJames Posts: 406 New bride

    Firstly don't be so hard on yourself, give yourself a week or 2 to rest and recuperate and then get your head back into the slimming. 

    You clearly know you can do it, as it sounds like you've done amazing up to now. I know its easy to forget how far you've come when you are focusing on how far you have left to go, but if you keep in mind how much better you feel after how much you've lost so far it might help keep you focused and motivated. 

    I ballooned after my depression and am also trying to get my head back into slimming world after losing 2.5st  so if you need any motivation or someone to rant too feel free to message me.

     

  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride

    I just want to give you one massive hug! 

    The one thing my slimming world consultant always says is "Only you know when your ready to start your slimming world journey, no one else!" But considering you lost an amazing 8 stone previusly with them, I'm sure you'll do amazingly this time, but you have to feel ready. 

    As for depression, I understand where your coming from there, I've suffered with it myself for 22 years (since I was 14 I'm now 26) and have been on endless medications to try and help, but I find that when I'm having a really bad day I turn to food to try and have that few moments of 'feeling better' but maybe starting again At slimming world will help you look at food in a different light? 

    But as some other people have said, if ever you need someone to talk to, I'm only a message away!! 😊

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Oh bless you. I can completely sympathise with you my lovely girl. I had an emotional breakdown four years ago, it was awful. The depression from that period took a long time to recover and even now four years later I still have my days. 

    First things first, you need to rest. Take the next few weeks to gather your thoughts, go for long walks, eat healthily. Talk to a friend, your partner or family. But most of all take time to sleep, your mental health needs to rest as well. I went through periods of insomnia when the depression was at it's worst. 

    Secondly, take small steps with slimming. Don't cut out everything in one go or your mental health will suffer. Cut out that bar of chocolate at first, or swap fizzy drinks for water. Baby steps! 

    Thirdly, exercise! Best thing in the world! Go for a walk. Go swimming. Increase it slowly. (Don't follow my motto, "If it's not hurting, it's not working). 

    But most of all my lovely girl, don't bottle anything up. Message a friend, one of us, family member. Anyone! But don't lock your feelings away. It makes everything so much worse. 

  • MrsHowgateMrsHowgate Posts: 1,426 New bride

    Thank you everyone for your kind words.

    I have referred myself to a counsellor as well as some things that happened before I met Andrew have come to the surface and I need to talk things through.

    Slimming will be hard especially now but I am going to take it one day at a time xx

     

  • Sorry I have no words of wisdom but I am sending you some virtual hugs! 

  • I just want to echo what the other girls have said - you are not alone and you've taken a huge step by seeking help from your GP and referring yourself to a counsellor, so things can only get better from here. Many of us have been there before. When depression hits it can be really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but believe us when we say that things WILL get better with a bit of TLC.

     

    First off, you need to take this 2 weeks off work to look after yourself mentally and physically. Sleep is so beneficial for the mind but don’t stay in bed or sit around all day. Try to set yourself a schedule and a plan for what you want to accomplish each day, but don’t expect too much from yourself. When I was suffering from a bad bout of depression I found it helpful to set myself a time to get out of bed and one task I wanted to complete that day (that can be something as simple as cleaning your makeup brushes or reorganising a drawer of your bedside table). This will give you a sense of accomplishment and focus away from comfort eating.

    Exercise is an amazing thing for mental health and weight loss but don’t think of it as ‘exercise’ as such – a walk around the block once a day can be really beneficial without seeming daunting. Perhaps invest in a fitbit to keep you motivated to go for a walk in the fresh air. Some of the women I work with get up every 20 minutes to walk up and down the stairs a couple of times just to get their step count up!

    Slimming World has helped my depression and anxiety issues SO MUCH. I started SW in 2013 and even though I got to target fairly quickly I still follow the plan because it gives me a focus to my day/week. I find it so rewarding having control over at least one aspect of my day when everything else around me could be falling apart. That being said, YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE – you don’t need to start a weight loss journey if you feel you can’t cope with it! As someone else said – your measurements are bang on the smaller dress size, so the minimum you need to do is maintain your weight from here. If the dress doesn’t fit as well as you’d hoped in certain areas a seamstress can make alterations. You have plenty of time until the wedding so don’t be too hard on yourself.

     

    And PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE DIET PILLS. You’ve done Slimming World once, you know it works without the need for diet pills and you can do it again. You don’t know how your new medication will react to other pills so it’s safest not to take them. An 8 stone loss is amazing, don’t forget how far you’ve come! It’s ok that you’ve gained a few pounds – life happens and a 9lb gain is nothing in the grand scheme of things!

     

    We are all here for you. Please reach out to us if you're feeling down and need to speak to someone x

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