i think we both made a mistake?? ;(
HI all i have joined this forum as i desperatly need some advise. this is a long story but will try to keep it short and simple.
i got married to my husband exactly a month today after being together for 16 years and have two children, mortgage etc. i always knew my husband never really was that bothered about getting married. two days a go he came in from pub drunk (this is a regular thing and whilst i wouldnt say he is an alcoholic, he definitley has issues with it)anyway he came in drunk, made our 10 year old daughter cry by telling her everything that was on her birthday list was sh*t. when we argued about this he grabbed my wrist and the more i pulled away the tighter he griped it to the point it hurt for a good while after. everytime i spoke he'd stick his middle finger up at me in front of our daughter. he then told me he never wanted to get married and felt that he was pushed into it by me!! he said that the wedding was all about me, my family and not his. i have bent over backwards to make sure they felt included which is hard as there are only four members of his immediate family and are quite private, and quite a lot of mine (im one of 4) we had our preview pictures back from our photographer there was one picture of him with his mum the rest were of me and my family and guests in general, so this has only added fuel to his fire. photographer did take pictures of him with his family they just were not in the preview package.......
Anyway looking back, i suppose all the warning signs were there, no proposal (we just agreed that it would be nice to get married at the venue we'd seen accidently), but he told me to book it. he gave me the money to buy my own engagement ring and never came with me (stating i could get the one i wanted). he never paid a penny towards the wedding apart from his own clothes that he wore, and on our wedding night me and the kids went back to our apartment whilst he stayed out drinking with his friends till the early hours of the morning whilst they had to make sure he got back safely. so i suppose all the warning signs were there and deep down i knew this but chose to ignore it. the other night he told me he wanted me to divorce him which both kids heard and were upset about it the next day, i said no problem if thats how he felt.
i feel so stupid!!! what do i do?? the next day he acted as though everything was normal, and that I was over reacting about what was said. he looked totally shocked when i told him what had been said and he said he didnt mean it..... but what do i do? part of me thinks im contiuning to disrespect myself and my kids by stopping with him, i told him i feel he is damaging our kids when he's like that because they hear everything thats said. (our house is open plan with no door down stairs) or do i think, well were married now shall we make a go of it, as when things are good they are fantastic, but im not sure i can live with myself knowing im married to someone who didnt want to marry me in the first place and felt pushed into it.