Bridesmaid issues - help!

I don't know what to do about my maid of honour! So need a rant!!!

Our parents were friends when we were little, but as I had a normal upbringing her parents made a lot of money so she has a very different life to me now. She has millions in property and she doesnt get the idea of not being able to afford something, or making decisions based on money - it's hard to relate at times.

She got married six months ago (we got engaged a few months apart). Her wedding was really different to how mine will be and she's constantly comparing the two and commenting about why mine isnt like hers - why i'm not buying a dress like hers, why i'm not having similar flowers etc. Sometimes saying i probably cant afford what she had (we're paying for ours when her dad paid for hers) and sometimes acting like im being horrid by not copying her.

She has done nothing to help, my other maids planned the hen and have been so much more supportive. But when she got married I had to organise two hen dos for her! We have a fb message group and the other hens respond to messages/pics of wedding stuff and she never does. I also found out she's been horridly talking about the maids who organised my hen to others. Not ok!

When she got married i took so much time off work to go to everything (all dress shopping and fitting appointments apart from one, bridal shows etc.) and she hasnt come to anything and I had to argue with her about being there the day before the wedding so she could be there early on the wedding morning (it's a 2pm wedding and she thought shed turn up at 12ish to get ready - we have a hair dresser/make up artist coming).

She even complained shes missing a sailing competition the day of the wedding (shes an amateur competitor as a (rich) person hobby), and how inconvenient it is its on that day. She had two wedding parties on seperate weekends.

To top it off, my grandfather is very ill and i'm having to spend a lot of time caring for him and shes not once asked how im doing, just acts like im not spending enough time with her. I get texts saying we need to spend more time together and acting like im being difficult when im just going to hospital appointments (not that i think she knows as shes stopped asking hiw things are going).

The wedding is in three months and im so sick of being around someone so uncaring, especially after all the effort I went to for her wedding.

Would you ditch her after the ceremony?


  • HailsHails Posts: 2,455

    Ditch her now! This is no friend.

  • bella2015bella2015 Posts: 1,903 New bride

    Have you spoken to her about how you feel?

  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,122 New bride

    Second what hails said. A friend shouldn't make you feel that way. Ditch her, you don't need the stress!!

  • Yeah I agree- don't wait until after the ceremony, you need someone to be there for YOU, not the other way around. She sounds an incredibly selfish person and she clearly only cares about herself x

  • MrsJamesMrsJames Posts: 406 New bride

    So sorry about your grandfather. My grandma had a stroke last year and got diagnosed with dementia shortly after and my MOH and so called best friend didn't even ask how I was doing or how my grandma was doing. I only get weekends off work and spend most Saturdays with my grandma and she was demanding that I go see her and her new baby despite knowing I have next to no free time with planning the wedding and helping my grandad look after my grandma. She even got in touch to ask for money at one point. 

    In the end I asked her to step down as MOH (I cited money issues and her having just had a baby etc) she stopped talking to me about a week later and I feel tonnes better for knowing she won't be at my wedding.  

    I personally think you should ditch her now. Sound's like you do more for the friendship than she does anyway. And regardless of all the wedding stuff a friend should be there for you in your time of need and she clearly isn't there for you. 

  • emma531emma531 Posts: 216

    I echo what everyone else has ssid, ditch her now! Or at least deal with it now. Trust me, you will feel loads better! 

    My bridesmaid has done nothing but whinge. Shes never been to any sppointments and my hen doo was planned around her. She was no where to be seen on my hen doo and was horrible about the other 2 bridesmaids. 

    I was so upset about her that I couldnt deal with anything weddingy and was a bit of a nightmare! I finally bit the bullet and got it all off my chest the other day. Whilst I've had no apology/explanation and it looks like she wint be coming, I genuinely feel like a weight has been lifted and I can enjoy the run up to my wedding again without worrying about her.

    You have enough to worry about, your bridemaid shoul be helping ease that worry, not add to it!

  • Sarah939Sarah939 Posts: 2

    Thanks so much for all the messages ladies!

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