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Bridesmaid pulled out 2 weeks to go!

One of my bridesmaids has pulled out but told me she wants to attend our wedding as a guest, with 2 weeks to go.. I'm not sure how I 'should' feel but I am upset and hurt, I feel let down by her a lot when it comes to the planning of my wedding as i thought (naively) that it'd be like on tv, all your girls doing little things to help, asking if you needed this needed that; but it hasn't really been the case, which is fine cause I like to be involved and make sure everything is done anyway but I guess I though it would be a bit different. Anyway, she has been unwel (don't want to divulge, though it is not a serious issue) and so I have felt a bit like I didn't really want to always be talking about th wedding to get on her nerves as she didn't seem interested. The day before my hen party she txt to say she couldn't come she was so sorry but feeling under the weather, so that was fine I was upset but understood, but then felt annoyed when we were away and i didn't even get as much as a message or anything like have fun etc and barely any contact after. I was super busy with work and planning and so didnt get speaking with her much anyway but ive contacted her to see that she's ok and she's just casually text me to say she isn't feeling like she could be bridesmaid but may come as a guest anyway... she'll let me know..! Am I being a complete psycho or am I allowed to be upset about this? I've just told her I understand and hope she can be there but almost feel insulted that she'd come at all- surely if she wasn't well enough to wear the dress how is she well enough to come at all? I know thats my upset rationale talking but I'm seriously upset. :( it feels a bit like.. is this really happening to me? im not really sure how to handle the situation with her now, I will obviously just be fine and will want her to come but not sure I can overcome the hurt from her lack of caring from the past year in general?


  • Midd2SturtonMidd2Sturton Posts: 320

    I think it is strange seeing as she hasn't really taken on any bridesmaid duties, so her turning up and wearing a bridesmaid dress as opposed to her own guest dress wouldn't really be any different. Maybe just make it clear to her that you don't expect anything of her on the day over what she feels she is well enough to do, she might just be worried about letting you down. 

    I would also be really upset in the same situation so you are not overreacting in my opinion. 

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