Wedding Planner Ruined Wedding

Hello, 

I got married a few days ago and for the most part there were lots of lovely things. 

The bridal prep was lovely and my other vendors were amazing! The flowers were absolutely gorgeous and the videographer and photographer set the tone perfectly. 

For once in my life I also felt truly beautiful and was very happy with my make-up artist. 

But the day fell apart when I got to the venue. We had a walk through with the planner a few weeks back to confirm details and it felt like the biggest waste of time. Here's a list of the key issues, but there were many more...

After our civil ceremony we had a blessing in the chapel. But as we were leading all of our guests to the chapel, the stairs were blocked with gardening equipment so we had to go up a hill that was 3 times longer to walk. 

She didn't put the post box out so people were just putting cards full of money onto the welcome table and they were falling on the floor. 

We were meant to have our drinks reception outside. No rain was forecast but she put the drinks inside a stifling hot room. When we asked for the reception to be moved - i.e. place the drinks table outside, she refused and said people could walk outside but they weren't moving. The groom asked for this to happen before the ceremony even began but she said he didn't and accused him of lying. 

The welcome table was also meant to be outside but she placed it in a random corner inside. 

I left a document with all of the info needed for the day as there was no one to handover to the day before. This never got read which means lots of details got missed. 

We were told our coach could take guests to the house, but when it arrived, they had to get out at the bottom of the hill and walk. 

When I spoke to her about why I wasn't happy, she accused the florist before she even knew why. And even said, 'Oh, these are all oversights'. There was no apology. 

We also came back from photos to everyone sat down and accidentally walked in before we could be formally announced. Which means we then had to exit and come back in again. I was hot, flustered and confused. No one communicated with us and it was humiliating. 

Later my brother asked for her manager's details and she ignored him. She then disappeared until 11pm. When I saw her again at that time, I'd had a couple of drinks but I was sober. I asked for her manager's details again and she stated she had no idea why I was unhappy. We had a really awkward spat and she made me list every reason - which is not what a bride should be doing the eve of her wedding. She was so rude and then said, 'If you're so unhappy, why did the groom come up and thank me?' Basically causing an argument between my new husband and I - he was just being polite and thanked everyone. The night ended in tears. But my new husband didn't see either chat with the planner so he accused me of being overly emotional and unable to let go of perfection. Which was not the case at all. My brother and sister were with me the whole time and they agreed I wasn't overreacting. This was confirmed the next day when we went to speak to the planner's boss at the venue and she was so outraged, I got half my money back. Which was a significant sum. 

I crumbled when we got back to the hotel which ruined our wedding night. I feel so guilty as if I've let him and our parents down. I'm so annoyed I couldn't hold it together but I really did try. It was just one thing after another. And the planner's attitude was so scathing. It also didn't help that I was arguing alone as my new husband would rather ignore all of the issues rather than having the awkwardness of addressing them. If I had done the same, I don't think the day would have been any better and we definitely wouldn't have got our money back. I am just so heartbroken. What can I do to get over my disappointment?

 

Posts

  • Rach371Rach371 Posts: 1,122 New bride

    Firstly, congratulations on getting married!! That's the most important thing and I really hope you're enjoying married life. 

    Right, putting aside the issues with your bridesmaids and mum being difficult, I would say you definitely need to follow this up with the venue and make a formal complaint. List your issues clearly and concisely and explain what went wrong despite your instructions. 

    I would email this to the manager and copy in the wedding planner. She shouldn't have confronted you or blamed someone else, it was unprofessional and downright rude. 

    It is completely normal to feel a bit blue after it's all over, you spend all that time planning and being excited for it and suddenly it's all over and back to normal. It does pass I promise you. 

    I also promise you that none of the guests would have noticed the issues, they would have just had a wonderful day celebrating with you. 

    If you haven't got them already, when you see your wedding photos they will really cheer you up. When are you going on honeymoon because that's something to look forward to?

    I would email the venue and explain your disappointment and say you wouldn't recommend them to anyone else getting married and ask for an apology because it's owed to you. Then I would focus on enjoying being married and all the positives you can take from the day. Keep smiling x 

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