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Wedding date change ...

so the original idea was to get married on 5/11/2018 - which is a Monday. 

We chose this because we don't have a massive budget and thought it would be best. 

But over the past few days we've had my mum and grandma mention that the day we've picked is on a Monday (which we knew) and that it may be difficult because people might not be able to book it off work, or have the kids off school because it's not a half term etc... 

I'm at a crossroads... with everything going oncwith  with my auntie to I just don't know what to do. We've already paid to book the date with the registry office but now I'm just not sure if we should change it to the Saturday before (the 3rd) or leave it as it is! 

Posts

  • The registry office should be able to change it as long as they have no bookings for the new date.... however, if you stick to the monday you are giving people plenty of notice. Do what is best for you. X

  • When we booked the registrar we were told we'd have to pay the booking fee again if we made any changes to date and time. 

    however a lot of people now get married on a weekday so if people want to come, they'll book the day off so don't worry x

  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,441 New bride

    I've gone for a Friday (term time) and even my fiancés brother (who is a teacher and has got three children at school) is coming and hasn't complained about it being on a friday.

    If you're happy with it being a Monday, then don't change it. X

  • I would stick with your date - Bonfire Night! :)

    You have given people plenty of time to book the date off work.

    As a teacher it would be a problem for me as we can't take time off during the term, although some Head Teachers would be flexible with a lot of notice.  At my last school you couldn't even get time off for a funeral in term time unless it was a parent or sibling.

    If you have school children going I don't think it would be a problem as although Heads don't 'grant holiday' in the term time officially, many children do take time off for family events, and schools do understand.

    I think a Monday could be a lovely day for you - you have the weekend before to do any last minute 'bits'.  And November 5th is a lovely, special date to choose.

    Also you could choose a Saturday and people can't come because they are poorly at the last minute etc - so no date has absolute guarantees of 100% attendance.

    Have you had any other negative reaction to your date from your friends and potential guests?

    It could be your mum and grandma are just alerting  you to a potential difficulty, but if your guest list isn't mainly teachers I don't think you'll have much difficulty - and the savings you make will probably be significant.  (Although I think November is a 'cheaper' month than many anyway ... we got good reductions for the venue as we are marrying in October which they see as 'out of season')

     

  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride
    Epiphany wrote (see post):

    I would stick with your date - Bonfire Night! :)

    You have given people plenty of time to book the date off work.

    As a teacher it would be a problem for me as we can't take time off during the term, although some Head Teachers would be flexible with a lot of notice.  At my last school you couldn't even get time off for a funeral in term time unless it was a parent or sibling.

    If you have school children going I don't think it would be a problem as although Heads don't 'grant holiday' in the term time officially, many children do take time off for family events, and schools do understand.

    I think a Monday could be a lovely day for you - you have the weekend before to do any last minute 'bits'.  And November 5th is a lovely, special date to choose.

    Also you could choose a Saturday and people can't come because they are poorly at the last minute etc - so no date has absolute guarantees of 100% attendance.

    Have you had any other negative reaction to your date from your friends and potential guests?

    It could be your mum and grandma are just alerting  you to a potential difficulty, but if your guest list isn't mainly teachers I don't think you'll have much difficulty - and the savings you make will probably be significant.  (Although I think November is a 'cheaper' month than many anyway ... we got good reductions for the venue as we are marrying in October which they see as 'out of season')

     

    The only teachers in my family are my eldest cousin and my auntie, but both only do part time. We've booked the registry office for 3.30pm (we've only invited imidiate family to this - parents, grandparents etc) and obviously having the reception afterwards so it wouldn't be like they'd be missing work because that wouldnt be until later on in the day. 

    The only thing we'd need to consider is booking a day with school so my son can have it off (surly they wouldn't be too bothered about one day off) and find out what my family from Liverpool would be doing as their daughter is also in school. Also with people being at work the next day I'm guessing people may not be able to stay long at the reception? 

  • I can't imagine any school objecting to a boy going to his own mum's wedding - personally I would be excited and delighted for him and ask him to come back and tell us all about it!  Officially though, the school may not be able to give permission, and it would be an 'unauthorised absence' - but so what?  It's hardly a criminal record!  And if your son's attendance is good the rest of the time ... I'm assuming he is at primary school?

    If it was me, I would go and see the Head in plenty of time - as soon as you're booked - and tell him/her that your son won't be in on _______  because of an important family event, but that you will of course be speaking to his teacher to find out if you could help him catch up on whatever he has missed.  If you're thinking of November 2018, it won't even be his current teacher!  Then I'd pop and see the new teacher in September and explain the happy news - s/he will be thrilled for you I am sure!  Bear in mind some people get married abroad and take their children out for more than a day, and some people getting married at the weekend still take their child out for the Friday because of travelling the day before.

    As for not staying late at the reception - well that is a consideration for any wedding booked Sunday - Thursday, not just Monday, and if most people are local they could still stay quite late, and if some people really want to party, they'll book the next day or morning off work.  You will have a lovely day whatever time people feel they have to leave by.

    It's up to you, of course, but I think the 'hurdles' you face for a Monday wedding are very small, and worth facing if that is the date you would like.  I know we like to accommodate guests and the feelings of others, and I'm not one for thinking 'It's My Day So I'll Do What I Like And Tough Luck To Everyone Else' - but in this case I can't see any reason why sticking to your preferred date would be more than a minor inconvenience to perhaps a couple of guests.

    You've had a tough old year, and all you want is your wedding on the date you and your fiance chose.  Not a big ask at all, and you're giving people plenty of time.

  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride
    Epiphany wrote (see post):

    I can't imagine any school objecting to a boy going to his own mum's wedding - personally I would be excited and delighted for him and ask him to come back and tell us all about it!  Officially though, the school may not be able to give permission, and it would be an 'unauthorised absence' - but so what?  It's hardly a criminal record!  And if your son's attendance is good the rest of the time ... I'm assuming he is at primary school?

    If it was me, I would go and see the Head in plenty of time - as soon as you're booked - and tell him/her that your son won't be in on _______  because of an important family event, but that you will of course be speaking to his teacher to find out if you could help him catch up on whatever he has missed.  If you're thinking of November 2018, it won't even be his current teacher!  Then I'd pop and see the new teacher in September and explain the happy news - s/he will be thrilled for you I am sure!  Bear in mind some people get married abroad and take their children out for more than a day, and some people getting married at the weekend still take their child out for the Friday because of travelling the day before.

    As for not staying late at the reception - well that is a consideration for any wedding booked Sunday - Thursday, not just Monday, and if most people are local they could still stay quite late, and if some people really want to party, they'll book the next day or morning off work.  You will have a lovely day whatever time people feel they have to leave by.

    It's up to you, of course, but I think the 'hurdles' you face for a Monday wedding are very small, and worth facing if that is the date you would like.  I know we like to accommodate guests and the feelings of others, and I'm not one for thinking 'It's My Day So I'll Do What I Like And Tough Luck To Everyone Else' - but in this case I can't see any reason why sticking to your preferred date would be more than a minor inconvenience to perhaps a couple of guests.

    You've had a tough old year, and all you want is your wedding on the date you and your fiance chose.  Not a big ask at all, and you're giving people plenty of time.

    Thanks Epiphany! 

    My son is in primary school, but I'm sure having a word with the head and his teacher (for the next year) will give them some heads up. 

    I guess I'm worrying about it a bit too much, along with everything else we've got to juggle in regards to everything with my auntie. 

    The reception venue have said that the latest people can stay are 12midnight, which I suppose isn't too bad! 

  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,441 New bride

    I went to my brothers wedding and I had my daughter get an authorised absence for one day but an unauthorised absence with my son... As long as they have a good attendance record - it should be fine.

  • I wouldn't worry about your date. You have more than enough on your plate just now. As far as I'm concerned, teachers and school-age children notwithstanding, you'll be fine on a Monday. As long as you've given plenty of notice, most people will be fine. X

  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride

    Thank you everyone, I guess I'm just trying to spin a few too many plates, and began to overthink everything!!

    I've tried to put all wedding plans on hold and to the back of my mind. I'm trying to take one day at a time, but I still keep thinking of a few things I need to book... cake, cars etc. 

    I'll try my best to keep it all on hold until after my aunties funeral on Thursday. Thank you for all your help xx 

  • We plan on getting married on a Thursday, because it's an important date to us. 

    Our plan is to send out save the date cards a year early, so that people can plan ahead and book time off work. Surely you could do the same? Send out save the date cards on 5th November this year? 

     

    xx

  • MissSMissS Posts: 267 New bride

    Laura- You've been SO excited to have a bonfire night wedding!!! Don't change it for anyone! If people want to be there then they will.. Mine is bonfire night this year so a Sunday! Just think every anniversary will be bonfire night!! xx

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