Forum home Emotional support

No one to be my best man

So this is pretty embarrassing. I'm a 28 year old man getting married to the love of my life and mother of my 2 children next September. All good in that sense except.......I have no one to be my best man :(

To be blunt my social skills are extremely poor. They always have been. I just can never manage to have a decent conversation with anyone, all I do is mumble and stutter and just create an awkward atmosphere when I'm around people. As a result I have no friends in life. Normally 99.999% of people can count on at least one person as their friend. Not me. I keep wondering how on Earth I've managed to be with my fiancé for over 9 years. At least I know she must really love me.

We were talking about the wedding the other day and the subject of my best man came up. Cue the feelings of embarrassment when I couldn't think of anyone to do the job for me. Now I just fudge the issue whenever it's brought up. And then there's the stag do. What do I do? I would LOVE to have a stag do but is that really possible without any friends?

Is any of this really important in the long run? Should I just grow and pair and tell my fiancé I just won't have a best man?

 

Posts

  • What about family?  Are you reasonably close to any brothers or sisters? (No reason why you couldn't have a best woman). What about your dad - I've seen a few weddings with the Groom's dad as best man.

    If there really isn't anyone who you would want, then you need to be honest with your fiance.  It's not worth getting upset over and better just to discuss it up front.  If you want a stag why not do a family stag instead with your little ones or something? Not traditional and possibly not what you have in mind but really if you don't fit "tradition" then who cares - embrace it!

     

  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,441 New bride

    I agree, have a look at your family -  Brother, uncle, dad even....

    Do you have anyone that you get on with? Male wise.. A friend, work colleague etc

    If not, why don't you have a 'best woman'?

  • MrsJ2017MrsJ2017 Posts: 3,017

    Were going to a wedding soon where the best man will be the grooms dad, even though he has a lot of friends. He just wanted it to be his dad so its definitely doable.

    Its such a shame for you to live like this though, do you have any particular interests or hobbies that you could spend time on and meet like minded people?

    H2b isnt exactly shy but hes away with the fairies a lot of the time and doesnt really be himself around people. He has this one friend who is amazing and theyre so close we joke that theyre soul mates, they have such a good friendship, and that all started up because they both liked the same obscure anime show.

  • Nynae15Nynae15 Posts: 41

    Hello, please do not feel embarrassed. How old are your children? How about making one or both of them your best boy or girl? What would you like to do for your stag? amongst my friends, stag dos have typically involved sports or adventure activities during the day which you could perhaps do with your children and the men in your family / bride's family? I have lost touch with most of my friends due to moving away from my hometown. And of my few new friends, I am closest to a guy, so thinking of having a 'Bridesman'. Have a think about who you get along with (aside from your fiancée of course), and see if you can picture them standing with you on your day. Good luck.

  • Laura349Laura349 Posts: 1,001 New bride
    X-Simmo-X wrote (see post):

    So this is pretty embarrassing. I'm a 28 year old man getting married to the love of my life and mother of my 2 children next September. All good in that sense except.......I have no one to be my best man :(

    To be blunt my social skills are extremely poor. They always have been. I just can never manage to have a decent conversation with anyone, all I do is mumble and stutter and just create an awkward atmosphere when I'm around people. As a result I have no friends in life. Normally 99.999% of people can count on at least one person as their friend. Not me. I keep wondering how on Earth I've managed to be with my fiancé for over 9 years. At least I know she must really love me.

    We were talking about the wedding the other day and the subject of my best man came up. Cue the feelings of embarrassment when I couldn't think of anyone to do the job for me. Now I just fudge the issue whenever it's brought up. And then there's the stag do. What do I do? I would LOVE to have a stag do but is that really possible without any friends?

    Is any of this really important in the long run? Should I just grow and pair and tell my fiancé I just won't have a best man?

     

    My h2b has the exact same problem. He has social anxiety and sturuggles to meet new people (he’s had the same group of friends since he was young) but all these so called ‘friends’ have dropped him one by one all because hes said he doesn’t want to be at the pub all the time - he wants to spend time with his family (we have a child together) 

    My h2b was going to ask his ‘uncle’ (his dads best friend who was like a uncle to him) but sadly he passed away 3 years ago. 

    So he’s unsure what to do about a best man too. 

  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,441 New bride

    Is there any dads that you have befriended on the school/nursery run?

  • lauren318lauren318 Posts: 482

    My hubby chose his dad, he had always said from a young age he would have him.

    Don;t worry about what people think, i didn;t have any parents there and was worried what people would think but bottom line is that there is that much going on are people really going to be that bothered over the details. Equally we didn;t have a top table.

    Do whats right for you x

  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,441 New bride

    Any joy?

Sign In or Register to comment.