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My sister (who lives abroad) is due same week of my wedding

Just heard the absolutely amazing news that my big sis is expecting her 1st baby!

2018 is definitely the best year for our family  - we are the 2 eldest & Im getting married & my sis having a baby.

Now of course I am more than over the moon about having a little nephew or niece soon but I couldnt help but being upset at the fact that she is due litteraly the week of my big day & wont be there.  

We are so close, Ive never ever imagined she would miss my wedding & I know on the day Ill miss her so so much. 

I mean I know God's timing is always the best but Im struggling with this one...

Oh & of course she was Maid of honnour & had so many duties on the day etc. I feel so selfish to even be upset about it but cant help it. I just wanted my big sis to be there when I walk down the aisle 



  • MrsMcSMrsMcS Posts: 235

    I totally understand how you feel, of course you're going to be upset that she can't be there! It doesn't make you a bad person.

    You could still include her in the day in some way - maybe she could be filmed doing a message or reading to be played during the ceremony or speeches? Or she could Skype in while you're getting ready on the morning of the wedding, so she gets to be involved in the excitement (depending on exactly when the baby arrives of course).

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    Thank you MrsMcS, I definitely hope that I will be able to video call her in the morning when we are all getting ready, think it will be quite strange for myself & all the girls without her but hey that's life I guess.

    Good idea about her recording a speech that we can play on the day, really like this idea thank you. 

  • RS2017RS2017 Posts: 198

    Totally natural to be disappointed that the timing means your sister can’t be there, but you’ll love being an Auntie so much that I’m sure when the baby comes it will just make the time around your wedding so much more special!

    As for duties, are there any other BMs who can step in? And I agree with the suggestion above to try to include her in some way eg a video message.

    What an exciting time for your family with a wedding and a baby - it’s a real shame the dates clash so your sister can’t be there, but I’m sure you’ll get used to the idea and have a wonderful wedding.

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    Thank you RS2017, was in a bit of a state last night when I heard the news but feeling better this morning.

    Spoke with my fiance, the other bridesmaids etc. and yes we will make it work without her on the day and try and make sure she is still with us one way or another.

    Its a good thing we didn't book honeymoon straight after big day! We wanted to do mini moon then big one so that at least is good timing lol. Looking forward to flying to see her & the baby straight after wedding, it will be a nice family break as well.

  • Hi QueenD,

    I think that it is underandable that you are feeling a little upset about your sister not being able to share your day, and it’s not at all selfish in my opinion!

    I think the suggestion to have her record a reading is a good one! 

    You said that she lives abroad? If you’ve not already booked a honeymoon maybe this presents itself as a great opportunity to visit your new nice or newphew while celebraing your wedding with your sister? 

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    Thank you Nottinghamshirebride and yes we are definitely planning to fly & see them as soon as possible after the wedding.

    It is exciting news, once I get over the fact that she will be missing on all the pictures, videos, all the fun & emotion of the day... but it's still a great news that she is expecting 

  • My sister gave birth to my nephew on our wedding day! We were literally eating the wedding breakfast when the news came through that she'd had him safely which was great timing as it meant I could announce it to everyone in my speech. It was lovely to all be together to toast his birth although she was of course, very much missed on the day.

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    AAww that is so sweet Hullass1972, I'm sure it was a great moment for everyone to cherish & how cute that now every year your family celebrates a wedding anniversary & a birthday at the same time 

  • If you do fly out to see her and luggage space is available why not take your dress/suit with you and have a few extra pictures taken with her and baby? And / or if she's got a good sense of humour, asks her to get a picture taken in an outfit that will compliment the wedding party and have a big cardboard cut out made that you can pose with on the day! 😝

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    Hi Cheshirechick, I like this idea actually - another reason to wear my dress, I am definitely in! 

  • And she gets to feel part of the day too, I bet she gutted to be missing it as well as excited for herself, she's probably feeling as conflicted as you are. All you can do is make the most of it whatever way you can, so get your money's worth out of the dress ;)

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride

    Yes that's very true, she was very emotional too when she told me to be honest so I felt for her as well. 

  • MrsMcSMrsMcS Posts: 235

    I've just had another thought - you could save some keepsakes to take her when you visit - a favour, a slice of cake if it would travel well, an order of service or menu card if you're having them?

  • QueenDQueenD Posts: 325 New bride
    MrsMcS wrote (see post):

    I've just had another thought - you could save some keepsakes to take her when you visit - a favour, a slice of cake if it would travel well, an order of service or menu card if you're having them?

    Oh yes, I'm doing Bridesmaids presents in a nice personalised bag etc. so doing one for her too  & will definitely keep some cake for her, cake for wedding + cake for baby, double cake for everyone haha

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