Doubts, not sure where we go from here
Before becoming engaged I had always mentioned to OH that I wouldn't change my name and he seemed okay with this.
Today we had a conversation about it and it pretty much ended with "I don't see the point in being married if you don't change your name; I'd still love you but marriage is just a bit of paper".
I don't want to change my name. It is my name, the name I was born with; graduated uni with; started my career with; became a mother with (boys are myname-dadsname, 1 with ex and 1 with OH); and I am the end of my line. It means a lot to me and I don't want to give that up.
OH said he'd be happy with me double barreling but won't do the same to his. He won't even consider changing his name, "because it's tradition". I don't agree with these traditions, he doesn't own me and never will.
We're now at some weird stale mate with neither of us particularly happy. I don't want to get married if I know he isn't happy with it as I won't change my name; he doesn't want to get married if I don't change my name. We both love each other but it's not something I'm willing to compromise on and don't feel like I should.