I’m at the point now whereby I’m feeling really down about OH and I. We’ve been together almost 7 years and our relationship is great - we love one and respect one another deeply. We’re always talking about the future, weddings, children etc. We are lovers, best friends and business partners.
We’ve had a rough few years with money and extraneous variables (I have OCD which was dreadful before it was diagnosed, now it is manageable). Things haven’t been great with his health for a while now though either. Both of us have always been a lover of afternoon naps and admittedly this could last up to 3 hours.
The past year or so, OH has been sleeping so much more than usual. He’s been less patient and getting irritated over the small stuff. We stopped having sex very often, he’d wake in the night to soaking covers from night sweats. He keeps complaining of headaches and feeling exhausted. I thought maybe he might have depression so asked him to go to the doctors. He did.
Doctors have done blood tests and and what not, looks like everything is fine. They concluded that he has depression. Bless him, he is trying his hardest to get well again but he can’t catch a break. They’ve had him on about 5 different medications but they either don’t work or he has an allergic reaction to them. He goes to a support group for mental health every other week and seems to enjoy this.
The thing is, we run a business together and because he can’t seem to stop sleeping, I feel like I’m the only one doing any work and it’s so fricken hard. I feel like his lack of motivation drags me down when I have some. He tells me that it’s not that he doesn’t want to get out of bed but that he physically can’t. On occasions whereby i’m trying to wake him up, I can see physically that he just struggles to open his eyes. He tells me to let him sleep for 20 minutes but it can easily turn into 5 hours, he just doesn’t wake up. At the moment, he is sleeping up to 14-16 hours per day.
Our business has been a thing for over a year now and our accounts were due in December. It’s almost April now and they still haven’t been finished - he is working on it whenever he is awake. I’d help him if I could but it’s just not where my knowledge lies (and I have my own roles in the business - taking care of everything else). We’ve got HMRC on our backs and are looking at a proabable fine - they know the situation and have been respectful but it’s going too far now. I’m worried about my business getting in trouble! As I speak, he said he wanted 30 minutes sleep at 2:00pm today, it’s now 6:30pm and he is still sleeping.
I should add that he also has a full time job (well paid, 4 days per week) so I get that he is tired after his 12 hour shifts but he wanted to be part of the business and take care of the admin/accounting side of things.
I know it’s not his fault but I‘m struggling to maintain patience. I love him deeply and know we can get through this. We’ve slowly been improving our sex life - last year we easily went months without any but so far this year we’ve managed at least once per month which is a good improvement. The only thing is that h has been really struggling to climax which he never used to. I know the pills he is on can affect his libido though as I am on similar ones and I can definitely feel a reduction in mine.
We remain super affectionate with one another though and continue to kiss and cuddle every day. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and get rid of whatever cloud seems to be hanging over him ev