I'm dreading my wedding

I'm getting married in a matter of weeks and I really wished we had just eloped!I Our families have been great, his friends have been great. It's my 'friends'! Bitter jealous girls who obviously aren't too happy for me. 2 aren't coming at all because I didn't ask them to be bridesmaids, I only wanted my sister as I thought it would cause less drama with all my friends. Another is slating my wedding because hers will be better, but when I confronted her she obviously denied it and her bridal party have also turned on me as I think they see it as a competition. It's like bridal wars! I don't want to compete! I just want to be married! People are telling me to uninvite them but I think that would cause more problems. I just want my wedding to be over with. 

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  • Oh, I really feel for you! It’s true that weddings bring out the worst in people and you can really see people’s true colours. It’s such a shame that your ‘friends’ aren’t happy for you and are trying to be competitive. It is a good sign however, that your family are being supportive and your OH’s friends too. 

    Just like you, I chose to have my sister as my only bridesmaid. It wasn’t a big deal or issue and everyone (mostly) understood the decision and was fine with it, at least after I had explained my justification. If two of the girls in question have decided not to come because they aren’t you BM, I’d thank your lucky stars as it saves you having to uninvite them or put up with rude/bitchy comments all day. I think it’s a little - what’s the word? - presumptuous to assume they're your BMs and be pissed off when finding out otherwise. I don’t think I’d ever expect to asked, but am just greatful if I am. Hopefully they’ll realise eventually that you didn’t mean any malice and (if you want to) you can try to rebuild your friendship, but I certainly wouldn’t reach out until after the wedding has been and gone.

    The one who is slating your wedding may just be jealous? How long have they been engaged? Are the wedding dates close togther? Do you have a bigger budget? I know it’s not nice either way, but if she‘s feeling insecure about her day, she may be trying to make herself feel better. That in no way excuses her behaviour, but maybe just having a chat to explain that your days are different and unquie and special in their own right, might put her at ease? Again, that’s even assuming that you want to get the friendship back on track!

    I think if you (and H2B) choose to uninvite them, and you’d be well within your rights to do so, the friendship will be over so it entirely depends on how much you do value them as friends. If you do take the ‘higher ground‘ and don’t rescind the invite,  I would hope that she gets over herslef enough to enjoy the day. If not, I would assume other guests will see her for what she is - a jealous girl who has nothing better to do that fault other people to hide her own insecurities. 

    Whatever you both decide, I hope you have the best day with the people who are truly happy for you!

     

  • If this were me, I would leave the 2 women who wanted to be bridemaids. They’ve made their position clear by delicing to attend. Will your day be any worse off for not having them there? Probably not! After the weddings gone they might see that they were being unfair and reach out to you to apologise , or at least I hope that they do since that would be the adult thing to do.

    The other bride and her mates Haven’t been fair to you but as far as you know still plan to attend? If they have RSVPd yes, I’d expect them to show up or maybe the won’t just to be spiteful? If they do attend hopefully they’ll have the decency to keep any negative comments to themselves otherwise I hop they say it to other guets and have them put in their places! 😈  

  • KatharynKatharyn Posts: 17

    Don't feel bad just because bad people want you to feel bad. Imagine if you were them. They're not going to get married and their families aren't supportive of them. Their situation is worse than yours. Feel lucky that you're better off than them right now, especially since they're showing that they deserve to lose. I know I sound mean, but there must always be a limit to one's kindness if she wants to live in true peacefulness. I wouldn't be friends with them anymore. So what if they get angry about not getting invited? Your peace of mind on your big day is worth fighting for. You can always make new friends.

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