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Guest List Stress

So we are having 60 at our ceremony as that is the capacity of the room we want to get married in. 

Of that 60 about 45 are family - so we are inviting roughly 15 friends. This is causing me all sorts of angst as for example I am inviting the people I am closest too out of certain groups of friends and I feel some people in the wider friendship group are going to end up feeling hurt. 

We are inviting around another 90 to the evening reception and are having another drinks reception at the evening do, followed by cutting the cake, possibly a toast and then the first dance. We are also having a fairly decent buffet in the evening - hot food. 

When we first set a date I did communicate / mention that it was mostly family during the day but I think some people have forgotten that and I am getting comments about getting new outfits etc from people I know are not invited all day. 

How should I handle this? Please help! For example there is one girl I only plan to invite in the evening who I did a reading at her wedding. But that was years ago and I now rarely hear from her. Last year I had some health issues and she wasn’t in touch at all, yet this year she is talking about getting a new outfit etc.

invites will need to go out soon..,


  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride

    In the last couple weeks 3 people I know who are getting married (these are old school friends and ex work mates so obviously im not invited) all put up FB status's bascially reminding people that their invites are going out soon but that their guest numbers are limited and although they wish they could invite everyone they hope people will understand.

    I've copied 2 of them here (cant find the 3rd now lol)

    Putting out the feelers for who might be able to attend our wedding. We hope people can be mature enough to understand that we can’t possibly invite everyone. X


    On behalf of myself and Jonny we are on the verge of sending out our wedding invites. Due to only being able to have a certain number of people at our special day we can’t invite everyone we know. Even though we would love too!Hope you all understand

    I think these quite work well as it gives people on your fb a heads up without pointing out any specifically, maybe that way the evening invite wont be as much as a shock.

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