I've name changed for this, as I'm upset and need some perspective, and don't want to risk family or friends seeing.
H2B and I have a joint account that we each pay a % of our wages into each month and a joint saving account that we each pay a set amount in to per month for the wedding. We both work full time, I earn £50k and he earns £35k. We have a joint mortgage, no kids. We both have student loans but no other big debts.
I got paid today so went on to the internet banking app to transfer my wedding savings in. I saw that there were 2x £100 transfers on Saturday. I didn't remember us making any payments out so text H2B to see if he knew what it was.
He called me straight away, turns out "he was going to tell me about it" but basically he's got 3/4s of the way through the month and has no money left. He decided to "borrow" from the wedding pot with a view to putting it back after payday.
I was with him all day Sunday and he's not mentioned this once. We were both very clear that the wedding fund is only for wedding related items, or so I thought. I'm at work so didn't want to talk about it now but he's been texting me since our call to say he's never been in this position before, he's terrified, he's ashamed, feels like he is letting me down and that he is weak.
I don't care that he's ran out of money. He's had to lend me money in the past. I'm just so angry and disappointed that he's not spoken to me about this, and that he's tried to be sneaky using the wedding pot. I'm assuming he's used up all of his savings. I know it is only £200 so in the grand scheme of things a fairly low amount, but it is the deceit that I am struggling to deal with.
We're due to talk about it tonight but I just feel so incredibly hurt. I thought we were both quite open about finances but it seems not.
I've told him I want full disclosure of his financial situation. I'm terrified he's ran up credit card debt or loans and not told me. I've printed off all my bank statements and our joint account statements too, so we can be completely clear. I guess it will become clear tonight.
I feel like that financial position can be fixed easily. I feel heartbroken that he's broken my trust though.
I'm not sure that I'm asking for advice, just a vent and a bit of a handhold.