friendship falling apart with chief bridesmaid
I am getting married in less than one month, time is coming around very fast and sadly I am having real under the surface problems with my chief bridesmaid.
This girl is my best friend but recently I have come to realise she has probably all these years been my longest friend and this wedding has made me realise this.
I must be honest in the sense that my chief bridesmaid has done quite a bit for my wedding but in recent times I am sensing an attitude problem from her and things kind of came to the surface today.
A lot of the things she has done I did not ask for but it was great that she did them. These are things such as organising my hen weekend away and helping me with my wedding invitations. I really appreciated all of this but it was suggested to me to have her do these things when me and my fiancé never considered this beforehand.
There were other things that I felt were really important to me and perhaps more important that than these things she did do that she was unable or available to help with.
Really these are small things and not even things that you would say she has to do but its things such as not coming to dress shopping, dress fitting and most importantly not being willing to do a speech for me at the wedding. I realise its not common for this from bridesmaids etc but my fiancé best man has never met me and I wanted one of my girls to speak for me.
All of these things I got over pretty easy as with wedding planning there are always bigger challenges to deal with. I think whats really bothering is not these things but the tension that has come between us and I have no idea where or how this happened.
I am not sure if other brides have experienced this but here goes. Its almost like without much being said or many arguments taking place that my wedding and its planning is a big inconvenience to her. When the speech thing came up she said she would rather drop off as being the chief bridesmaid and to not cause an argument I just said its fine and got another bridesmaid to do this. She even went to far to say that she would dread coming to my wedding.
Theres this under the surface resentment I feel that she is unhappy, jealous, envious or just not bothered at all and I can tell all of this from the way she speaks to me and lately its just been the lack of communication really.
The factor that has sparked this post is something that has happened recently.
I started a whats app group to communicate with my bridesmaids as it was suggested by one of them.
My chief bridesmaid has whats app, reads the messages but has never replied or has not contributed towards the conversation.She said it was because she never uses it (even though she has it on her phone).
I wouldn't normally care if it was just silly back and forth girly chat about nothing important but lately really important discussion has been taking place in this group and she has just not been replying. She has even ignored the questions directed at her and not even messaging me privately about these things which are so small and all about the planning of the morning of the wedding. I decided to ask her about this and just encourage her to take part in the conversation when she has a chance. From her response its clear that she has no interest in chatting as she is too busy apparently and wants any questions directed at her privately. That would be fine but this is a team effort that I wanted all my maids to discuss together collectively.
I have probably not raised many issues here or expressed real evidence of things that has happened to suggest she has been a bad bridesmaid. I am not saying she's been bad, she's been better than others at times but I am just feeling with less than one month to go I am so confused.
I think my main problem is that I have a girl standing up for me on my special day who I am beginning to think will no longer be my friend after the wedding.
I really do not know what to do.