Forum home Emotional support

My sister refuses to wear her bridesmaid dress

Hi everyone, I am so upset and just looking for a sounding board here. My sister who is older than me by 12 years refuses to wear the bridesmaid dresses I picked out- all this 20 days before the wedding. It really crushes me. I haven't asked her to do anything else for the wedding except walk down aisle with this dress on and she just refuses because she doesn't like the dress and doesn't feel comfortable in it. I understand that it may not be the dress she picked out and I told her she could go to the tailor and fix it up to her prefrence, wear it only for the ceremony and then change or find a dress in the exact matching colour (its a very particular baby/light blue so it would be a challenge but I gave her the option). She originally told me she would go to a tailor but just today when I checked up on her she said sorry, tailoring it won't help I'm not wearing it.


What should I do? Also as a side note is it bad for a wedding party not to have equal parts groomsmen and bridesmaids?


-An upset bride-to-be


  • Let her step down from being a bridesmaid then. If she hasn't actually done any BM duties then let her.

    Her acting like this shouldn't crush you. You need to remember this day is for you , and your OH to be married and the BM and groomsmen are simply a support for you.

    If she doesn't want to do it. let her know you are happy for her to step down and move on!

    It sounds harsh but the most important thing is you and OH. So enjoy the rest of the run and let her negativity go over your head.


    Good Luck x 

  • Amy491Amy491 Posts: 58

    I agree. I’d calmly say to her that it’s up to her but she’s either wearing the dress or she’s not a BM. I’ve been to a few weddings with different numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaid and it doesn’t look odd.everyones looking at the bride anyway 

  • My sister is also my BM (one and only though) and has been so difficult in choosing a dress. I did want her to feel comfortable and confident so I did buy a load (high street stores) and let her choose from those. In the end she hated the 15+ I ordered so I told her to choose her own! I gave her a budget and said it has to be navy but ultimately let her get what she wanted. 

    But, with such little time left there's nothing more you can do. Tell her it’s either wear the dress (and don’t make a fuss/cause a scene about it) or step down. 

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    I think that's an American thing because BMs and groomsmen walk down arm in arm. It doesn't matter how many we have of each.


    Your sis is being unreasonable because it's your choice but what can you do? if she's refusing to wear it there's nothing you can do. Maybe it's an excuse to get out of being a BM

  • anatanat Posts: 2

    Thanks for all of you that gave your wise input and offered a listening ear. My story had a happy ending- albit a costly one! I ended up finding similar color dresses (3 different designs) and ordered them all in different sizes so she could try them. She wasn't keen on any but comprimised and wore one for the ceremony and pictures before changing. Relief to say the least!

Sign In or Register to comment.