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Child Free

Hi There,

So my wedding is next year. We made a decision early on that only nieces and nephews were to be invited. We shared this with those that had children and bar a few grumblings it was fine.

Now one of these grumblers is pregnant again.. that's fine, the baby would be less than 2 months old so we wouldn't have to count them as a person but she is insisting that they have to bring other child who would be 18 months old. our venue has to count the chair, even if its a highchair  We genuinely don't have the space... We can have 60 day guests and we are at 60. How do I deal with this?


  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,957 New bride

    Just say your numbers are at capacity and you can accommodate baby but not toddler. It's the truth. Nothing else you can do really, they've known the situation from the start.

  • MrsTwizbeMrsTwizbe Posts: 3,355 New bride

    Agree - just say you can't accommodate the older child. They were fine with not bringing them to start with.


  • Just say you can not accommodate for the 18 month child. you have planned and payed for all your guest and you really don't want anymore children at the wedding. 

    If she is still insisting that the child should come then tell her it either she comes alone or don't come at all simple. 

  • Why do they need to bring the 18m old now when they didn't beforehand? Surely if they have a baby they won't want a toddler there too? My guess is they wouldn't have wanted to leave older child anyhow and now using baby as a reason not too. 

    Obviously baby needs to come especially if BF but just explain others have children same age as 18m and not bringing them and it could cause you problems so you can't say yes to one and not all and you don't have any wiggle room.

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,136 New bride

    . The baby needs to come really, that’s fair enough, but you can’t make allowances for them and their 18 month old because then you’ll have everyone else wanting to bring their children too, and making allowances for some over others is a whole can of worms being opened. They knew the stance so I think it is super cheeky to ask. If I knew I couldn’t get childcare I’d either leave my husband at home with the kids or we would decline the invite. I hate people who expect the world to revolve around them. Explain your position and let them know you’d be glad to accommodate the baby, but if they’re unable to leave the older one then you will be sorry to miss them on the day.

  • Emma851Emma851 Posts: 16 New bride

    I think if you’ve made a call to have a child-free wedding (as we have) then it would be difficult to make exceptions for them now when you’ve said no to other people.

    It’s your wedding and your guests need to respect your wishes!

  • MrsTraceyMrsTracey Posts: 837 New bride

    I think you’ve been really accommodating with the new baby as it is, so I think she has a cheek saying her older child now has to come too. I know small babies it’s fair enough that they are allowed to come, but you’re doing her a favour in saying that. I would tell her the truth, that you cant physically accommodate her eldest, she’s welcome to bring the new baby or you understand if they can’t make it. 

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