I just need to vent about one of my bridesmaids.
After much agonising, I asked 2 people to be my bridesmaids: my 15 year old cousin and one of my oldest friends, who I don’t see much of because she lives a long way away, but we talk regularly.
Now, when I asked my friend, I was half expecting her to decline because she suffers quite severe anxiety which has stopped her from working at several points in her life and has periods where she rarely socialises. So when I asked her I made it clear that I would totally understand if she didn’t feel comfortable doing it, and please don’t feel pressured, but she insisted that she would love to do it.
After a couple of months, she asked me if she could wear a suit instead of a dress because “they suit her better”. At first I thought she meant like a flowy, feminine-style suit, but no, she meant a man’s suit. Now, I have seen her wearing a dresses before and she looked gorgeous, and she’s never been a tomboy or anything, so I have no idea where this is coming from. I can only imagine she’s worried about her weight as she is very large. I told her a suit wouldn’t really be an option as she has to dress the same as the other bridesmaid (in reality what I was thinking was “oh my god, you are NOT walking down the aisle with me dressed like a bloke!!!” I know it’s not politically correct to say these days, and I’m honestly usually quite open minded, but to my mind being a bridesmaid is 80% about wearing a pretty dress of the bride’s choosing.) Anyway, I said it’s got to be a dress and she said OK that’s fine. Although she has hinted about suits again since.
So I started looking at dresses, specifically ones that would suit both large and slim figures, and I decided on an infinity dress because that way they can adjust them and wear them however they want. The website has loads of photos of plus-size bridesmaids wearing their dresses and looking stunning. The 15 year old has been impeccable, straight away said yep, that looks lovely, and gave me her waist measurements and I ordered hers. The older bridesmaid said yeah, that looks fine. BUT, it has now been FIVE WEEKS and she still hasn’t given me her waist measurement. I’ve asked her for it 4 times now, and it’s getting to the point where I’m wondering when I should just give up. The wedding is just over 2 months away now, and the dresses are being ordered from abroad, so it’s getting to the point where I really need to order, but I’m just getting really annoyed about how unhelpful she’s being. She keeps giving excuses (she couldn’t find her tape measure… but I mean, she’s had 5 weeks to nip into the corner shop and buy a new one, or even use a bit of string or whatever) and she keeps saying “I’m so so sorry, I’ll do it tomorrow!!” but then she doesn’t do it! I’m starting to wonder if she’s having second thoughts about being a bridesmaid, which I would totally understand, but I can’t really help with that if she won’t tell me and keeps insisting it’s fine and she still wants to do it!
As well as this, she hasn’t even *mentioned* a hen do. I sort of assumed from the start that I’d have plan my own hen do because my older bridesmaid isn’t very good with social stuff, but it would have been nice for her to even bring it up… Just so frustrated and disappointed!!