Forum home Emotional support

Help! H2B is determined to wear a clashing kilt


‘I have a huge dilemma. My H2B wants to wear a black white and red kilt with black jacket and regalia. My dress is pale green with a floral appliqué and my bridesmaids are wearing dusky rose. The theme of the wedding is vintage with everything in soft muted colours. He also demands to choose the groomsmen outfits. 2 wearing kilts and 3 refusing to but wearing matching suits. I’m so stressed.


  • I agree that they don’t go well with your dress. Have you tried offering an alternative that’s a different colour but still along the lines of what he wants? Maybe showing him some wedding inspiration (like a mood board) might help him to see where you’re coming from?

    If he’s only willing to wear that, I’d say you have to let him. It's like him saying to you, ‘well this is what I want to wear so you need to go and choose a different dress so we can match’. I don’t think you’d feel too happy having to go and buy another dress after falling in love with the one you’ve chosen for the sake of his outfit. In fact, I’m guessing you’d refuse and say he’s being ridiculous? So with that said, I think if that’s what he’s got his heart set on, you’ll just have to do your best to move on. 

    Best of luck though! I hope you do manage to find a solution. 😊

  • Hmm. I agree that the kilt clashes. But I also think that it is his decision what yo wear at the wedding. He's not telling you what to wear after all. 

    Did you discuss the colour theme with him? Was this a joint decision? Or just yours? Have you bought the bridesmaid dresses already?

    A wedding is inherently about two people. And both should be involved in the wedding planning. Maybe I am wrong and you decided togerher on a vintage thrme with pastel colours. Maybe he agreed because he wants you to be happy. But his choice of kilt obviously shows that he has a different vision of the wedding.

    I for instance didn't encounter this problem because the colour theme is something we picked together right at the start. 

    I think as a society we often tell ourselves that it is the bride's task to plan the wedding. That the groom should just let her get on with it. I personally think this is a very outdated view of marriage. I have found that most men do picture their wedding a certain way. But some don't know how to express their opinion.

    You need to sit down with him and describe your vision for the wedding. That might help him understand where you're coming from. However both of you need to be open to compromise. The emphasis being on both.

    For what it's worth I don't think your dress clashes terribly with the kilt. And maybe there is a kilt with a darker red. That might work. However once you consider the overall pastel theme things start clashing.

  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 951 New bride

    Is he Scottish? Does the tartan have a particular meaning to him? If so, I'm afraid you've got to go with it, as tartan can have an ancestral importance to some people.

    I also agree that if it's something he's had his heart set on for a long time, you can't really tell him he can't do it (I think any of us girls would be horrified if our grooms told us we couldn't wear the dress we'd always dreamed of!).

  • Maybe you could just ask him to switch the red to dark green? Then it won't clash, although I agree it won't really fit in with your pastel colours theme. If he wants the red because it's his family tartan or something like that then I think you'll just have to put up with it unfortunately. If it helps I don't think it's that bad.

    I think we all have a couple of things about our weddings that wouldn't be exactly what we wanted but like the others have said, a wedding is about 2 people, so we have to compromise sometimes.

Sign In or Register to comment.