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Tip for Anxiety?

Hi all,

so I am back from my hen do and have been since Sunday. From the minute I started my journey to come back I have felt sick in the pit of my stomache

i suffer from anxiety anyway due have literally done nothing about it since I saw a doctor in march who signed me off work for two weeks and suggested I see a counsellor - which I never did.

i am so filled up with tension about things I have left to do and the little time (40 days) to do it in. It's nothing major but it is things I can do really nothing I can ask others to do for me.

I have no time for myself as I Work full time have usual household stuff to do , rehearsals for events I am singing at and gym classes booked.

i am finding myself awake at 4am lying there until half 6 when alarm goes off feeling sick to the stomach and can't wait for it all to be over.

The anxiety mainly based around feeling like an inconvenience to my dad who is contributing to the wedding but has no interest in it at all. Added to the fact my mum is in a residential home as she's is brain damaged and I struggle to see her often enough in the lead up to wedding ( even though she doesn't know if we visit or not )

All that topped off with regular day to day social anxiety that I have not suffered with until this year I feel slightly drained

any advice on how to curb this would be great!

.

Posts

  • Hi there, firstly I’m so sorry you have so much to think about right now. I have been pretty much the same throughout planning my wedding, from agonising over the table plan to worrying whether my mom will like the shoes I’ve chosen. I’ve lain awake until 3am unable to stop wedding related questions going round and round my head. Not to mention a few family issues of our own that have stressed me out!

    I ended up getting up in the middle of the night one night and wrote a list of everything that was on my mind and needed to be done/finalised within the next week. And it worked! After that I made a list of every single outstanding wedding task, with the individual date I wanted them to be all sorted about by. I still had moments where I would look at the list and feel despair, but once you tick a few things off, it’s a huge weight off. 

    Organising your thoughts will at least help you to gain some control of them, rather than leaving them to swim around your head all night. I have depression & anxiety and I’ve always found that to be a big help.

    And remember your OH, they are there to share all this with you, even if you do have to ask them 50 times!

     

  • Now I know you can't 'cure' anxiety by just saying stop worrying, but if you're worrying about not having being able to fit everything in why dont you take 20 minutes and make a plan/to do list and prioritise what needs doing and if any extra things (ie gym classes) can be cancelled. If you're up worrying about it til 4am can you not get up and do things then? I work full time and run a business full time around it, play for 3 netball teams and have PT sessions twice a week so I understand time is tight, but if you can set 1-2 hours aside wherever possible and power through as much as you can you'll be surprised at how much of a weight is lifted. Even a spare 20 minutes could get a task done. Yes its stressful and I currently run on 4-5 hours sleep a night but I am SOO excited for my wedding (60 days away so similar time constraints) and I don't want to let the planning spoil anything.

     

    If you need any help with anything send me a message and we can have a chat :) x

  • Thank you both - yes I think its time to write a long list of all outstanding tasks and any free minute needs to be spent getting them done instead of worrying about them

    So glad I am not alone with this and I knew I wouldn't be xx

  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 942 New bride

    I suffer from anxiety, so I understand what you're going through. It's not uncommon for me to be lying awake in the early hours worrying about stuff that actually doesn't need to be worried about!

    Please go back to the doctor. They will be able to prescribe you with something if this is affecting your day to day life. You can be put on a waiting list for counselling/CBT but probably will have to wait a few months.

    I understand time is tight, but I suggest you don't cancel your gym classes or singing, because both these activities have been proven to help with anxiety and depression related mental illnesses, so it's best to keep them up if you can.

    It is a good idea to set aside time if you can when you and your partner can do 'wedmin' and decide who is going to be responsible for organising what in the coming few days. Definitely keep a notebook and pen by your bed so if anything occurs to you in the night, write it down and tell yourself you will deal with it in the morning.

    Most importantly, don't beat yourself up if your housework falls behind! If you need to have a glass of wine in front of the telly one evening rather than doing some vacuuming, it's not the end of the world.

  • OmRum wrote (see post):

    I suffer from anxiety, so I understand what you're going through. It's not uncommon for me to be lying awake in the early hours worrying about stuff that actually doesn't need to be worried about!

    Please go back to the doctor. They will be able to prescribe you with something if this is affecting your day to day life. You can be put on a waiting list for counselling/CBT but probably will have to wait a few months.

    I understand time is tight, but I suggest you don't cancel your gym classes or singing, because both these activities have been proven to help with anxiety and depression related mental illnesses, so it's best to keep them up if you can.

    It is a good idea to set aside time if you can when you and your partner can do 'wedmin' and decide who is going to be responsible for organising what in the coming few days. Definitely keep a notebook and pen by your bed so if anything occurs to you in the night, write it down and tell yourself you will deal with it in the morning.

    Most importantly, don't beat yourself up if your housework falls behind! If you need to have a glass of wine in front of the telly one evening rather than doing some vacuuming, it's not the end of the world.

    ******

    Thank you so much its so good to heard from people who understand. I don't want to stop the exercise or singing at all but yes you are right , I need to set specific times aside to sort bits out. Thanks again xx

     

  • MrsS85MrsS85 Posts: 688 New bride

    Sorry to hear you are feeling like this, I think you have some good advice on here already and hopefully even writing it down might have helped abit. From reading your post you seem to have a good understand of what is making you anxious, so that's a good starting point.

    The run up to a wedding can be a stressful time so hopefully things will get better after the wedding. Make a list and keep updating it, if you do wake up in the night some people find It easier to use that time to get up and do something rather than just lay there stressing that you cant sleep. No wonder you are feeling drained, I know its hard when you have so much on but sometime forcing yourself to take a little time out do something like a little walk, bath or read a few pages of a book can really help to slow you down abit and then get back on with other things with more clarity.

  • MrsS85 wrote (see post):

    Sorry to hear you are feeling like this, I think you have some good advice on here already and hopefully even writing it down might have helped abit. From reading your post you seem to have a good understand of what is making you anxious, so that's a good starting point.

    The run up to a wedding can be a stressful time so hopefully things will get better after the wedding. Make a list and keep updating it, if you do wake up in the night some people find It easier to use that time to get up and do something rather than just lay there stressing that you cant sleep. No wonder you are feeling drained, I know its hard when you have so much on but sometime forcing yourself to take a little time out do something like a little walk, bath or read a few pages of a book can really help to slow you down abit and then get back on with other things with more clarity.

    ********

     

    Thank you so much you are right.- Most of us don't make time for ourselves. Although I am looking forward to the wedding - I wont miss the stressful run-up. Thanks for the support x

  • Sorry to hear that everything feels so overwhelming right now.  Wedding planning is extremely stressful and can understand your anxiety as I suffer greatly too and it certainly became increasing hard around my wedding day due to some much to think about and feeling unsupported at times. 

    I have a number of tricks that I use which I hope will be helpful.

    1.  Keep a notebook close at all times and write down worries/concerns and jobs that you have to do which can be ticked off.  This really helps to keep jobs organised and off loads the mind which  may help you get more sleep and a more restful mind.

    2.  Look at Paul McKenna 'Stress' the guided audio is wonderful and see if you can find his tapping technique on YouTube.  It helps to reset the mind and helps to reduce anxiety.

    3.   Anxiety and Excitement are the same response in the body.  So when you feel anxious try to shift focus to something you can be excited about.  As an example when I felt anxious about my wedding I would tell myself that I was excited about my honeymoon which redirected my focus.  It can be as simple as saying you are excited about lunchtime.  It doesn't need to be a big event.  Focusing on the things you feel anxious about will only feed them, so try to shift focus.  I know this isn't easy and it will take practice but it is one of the most powerful tools for anxiety.

    4.  Bach Rescue Remedy - a few drops helps a little

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