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Struggling with photos a year on!!

We have just had our 1 year anniversary and I’m still not at peace with my pictures. I feel incredibly lucky to have the ones we do as some of them are truly amazing but I can’t bear to look at myself in them!! I was struggling with really bad anxiety the year we planned our big day and my confidence took a huge knock; I rushed my decisions in particular my dress and hair. 

I look at the photos and see an incredibly handsome husband and I look so so happy (which I was) but all i see when I look at myself is messy hair, a veil that is falling out and a dress thats not quite right. 

Has anyone else experienced similar feelings and what did you do to combat them? 

Posts

  • The pictures from my previous were absolutely terrible.  In my case, my h2b had decided to utilise the services of a fellow he knew from his work industry to be our 'tog, and of course, the fellow had no wedding experience at all.  He missed key shots (like the first kiss), spent the majority of the day flirting with a BM, and disappeared entirely at some point in the night.  We got a CD-Rom back a few months later with completely unedited photos on it.  When I confronted him on it, he basically took the attitude of "Well what did you want me to do with them?"  Erm, edit them you idiot...

    Sooo in my pictures, everyone has a shiny, red face as though we've all been drinking all night, we have hair that's recessed into the background, and missing pictures of everything from the venue to the groom's family, and no pro pictures of the dogs we had there all day (the biggest reason we chose the venue we chose was its dog-friendly-ness).  I hated our pictures and was so embarrassed when people asked to see them or asked why we didn't have any posted up around the house.

    All I can suggest honestly is to not look at the ones that you dislike, and focus on the ones you do.  Hopefully there are a few in the lot that do make you smile. You can also ask guests if they took any nice ones; that's what I did for some of the missing pics, asked some of our guests to see if they captured the shot. What's done is done and unfortunately the day cannot be recreated.

    You're likely going to get feedback on here about, "move on, focus on being happily married," and yes, I get that. But that's also not usually coming from someone that has had the same experience.  To not have nice photos to reflect on the day sucks.  I think it's okay to be disappointed about it, as long as that doesn't cross over into obsessive dwelling (which I doubt you are, you were probably just pulling them out to look at them on your anniversary).

  • CE26CE26 Posts: 351 New bride

    Im two years on and still struggle with my photos. I honestly felt beautiful on the day but whenever I see the photos I think I picked the wrong dress. I wish I'd taken more time choosing it (I felt I had to do it quickly as we planned everything in 8 months).

    You can also see the outline of the bra cups. Not my seamstress' fault - I asked her to cannabalise a strapless bra that fitted me nicely but the wires were too harsh for the dress material and by the time I noticed and felt bothered by it, it was too late to change it. 

    I wish I'd have lost some weight (I'm a stone lighter now...why the hell didn't I put the effort in and lose it for the wedding?!) and I wish I'd have covered my arms. I hate them so why did I choose a dress that left them on display? 

    It's difficult to remember how pretty and happy I felt on the day sometimes. 

    We also had a few issues with our photographer - we hate our couples photos and he didn't really take any of OHs side of the family so it's like they werent even there. So when I look at the photos they feel overshadowed by those disappointments. 

    It is a difficult feeling to reconcile as our day was amazing. 

    Like Kitty says - just don't focus on the ones you dont like and focus on the ones you do. There are a handful I genuinely love and they are the ones around the house and the ones I go back to. I also enjoy watching our video as it reminds me what a great day it was and when we're moving I don't notice the flaws that I see in the photos. Focus on that look on your face as a reminder of what a great day you had. 

     

  • Thank you both for Your comments :) there are the odd few that I do really love but in most of them I really hate my hair and the way my dress looks and the more I look at them the more I pick them apart!! 

    i felt so so beautiful on the day but I was on cloud 9 so much I think I would have felt beautiful in a bin bag!! I know everyone says you should focus on how you felt on the day and it was honestly the best day of my life, but after spending SO much money on a photographer and videographer it pains me to hate how I look in the piccies. I am kicking myself for not looking at my hair bedore I left for the venue and for not putting my foot down when my hair lady used straightners to curl my thin already very straight hair or for rushing into my Dress choice cz I was pressured by the sales assistants!! 

    I suck at making decisions and I’m just kicking myself for not taking more time on such an important day!!

  • I’m so sorry you feel like this. I know hearing it may not help, but chances are you look for flaws that no one else can see, and I bet you look beautiful! Also, in my professional wedding shots there are loads where I’ve got about five chins, or it’s not the best angle of me etc, but when I take a step back all I see is a very happy and in love bride! Easier said than done though, I know. 

    Are there any pictures that guests took that you love? Could you maybe take one of them and get it framed and display it somewhere? That way you’ll start to feel really proud of your day and how beautiful you are. Or maybe choose a professional one you do like and do the same, the rest don’t all have to be framed and mounted on the wall. Pick the ones that make you feel good and focus on that. 

  • CE26CE26 Posts: 351 New bride

    We were so disappointed with our couples shots that we went back to the venue 6 months later and re did them with some friends of ours who are keen photographers.

    I didn't do my hair in any special way or wear my veil, but we look so much more like us and I love the photos they took.

    I still had my dress bugs and the flabby arms happening, but for some reason I don't nit pick these photos in the same way.

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