Depression and anxiety ruining my wedding planning
Sorry for the heavy topic. I don't normally like bothering people with stuff like this, but I'm struggling so much I don't know what to do anymore. I have always suffered from depression, and this episode started just over a month ago. It's absolutely ruining what should be such an exciting time. I'm getting married in less than five weeks, and it's just dragging me down so much that whenever anyone mentions the wedding or I have to do any planning, I start shaking and crying. It's got to the point where I'm so convinced I will have a terrible time on the wedding day that I'm afraid it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's already spoiled my hen party.
I'm considering going back to the doctor but I don't know what they can do. I've been on loads of different medications which have never worked, and I'm a bit wary of trying a new one which could mess with my mind so close to the wedding. I've had counselling but that only makes it worse. I'm on a waiting list for CBT.
I know these things always pass, but it's so difficult to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Unfortunately, I do not live near family, and my closest friends are all going through their own things at the moment so I don't want to bother them.
I'm not sure whether I'm looking for advice or support in this post, or whether I'm just splurging how I feel in the hope that it will help.