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Help! I don’t want to be Bridezilla!

Hello everyone!

I got engaged a a little over a month ago and have finally booked a venue and have a wedding date! When discussing future plans with H2B Family and telling them the date we have booked my future SIL drops in casually that is is looking to get married just 10 days before. 


For context... future SIL and BIL have been engaged for little over a year and have always said they’re not interested in getting married just yet.They have been together for over 11 years and have a baby. I have been with H2B for 8 years but are keen on getting married before even contemplating children. Now we have set the date and paid a large deposit it is disappointing to hear that they are looking to get married such a short time before, a complete U-turn on ‘we aren’t interested in a wedding!’. They haven’t booked anything they have just decided a date... 

I wouldn’t be phased if it was a different season or even month! but to share such a big life event with just one weekend separating them I can’t help feeling disappointed. Am I overreacting?  Is it unreasonable to suggest they move there’s foward if possible? for now I am keeping quiet because I don’t want to cause anything but deep down I know I‘m pretty bummed about it.


  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 712 New bride

    This has come up loads on this forum and most people say it wont impact your day.  However I'd be totally annoyed and have to ask them to consider another date 🤷🏼‍♀️

    Would a word to your inlaws help? They might be able to discuss it with them?


  • The in laws are still smitten with future SIL baby (the first grandchild!) who is about to turn 1 and aren’t the fairest. My future MIL and SIL spend a lot of time together with with baby and know that anything I would say to my MIL would be repeated and could cause drama. Thats why I think it would be easier to keep my mouth shut!

    My H2B and his brother are so close that they could share a wedding day and it wouldn’t phase them! So it’s very tricky to voice anything.

  • I can see why you’re annoyed. Regardless of anything else, logistically it‘ll be difficult for the guests to attend two weddings so close together - I’m assuming a large number of guests will be attending both. They’ll have to budget for two weddings, accommodation, travel, childcare etc. 

    I would go to her with the practical reasons of why it’s difficult. I know there are emotional reasons you don’t want them to do this too, but for the time being I would leave them out of the argument as I think going at it from a practical point of few will get you further. I don’t think you’re a bridezilla, but it will stop the accusations that you are one from them. 

  • I couldn't be bothered in the slightest as far as the emotional "steal my thunder" aspect of her date, but as Mrs Tracey points out, this could be a logistical nightmare for you both. You will have mutual guests and that could mean people having to travel all over to make both events. Plus the expense you're asking these guests to incur. Then there's trying to get the same people to help with set-up and other logistics basically during the same time period. 

    I would speak to her and explain your concerns. Realistically, they should be her concerns as well, as both of your weddings are potentially going to get short-changed the attention they deserve. 

    If she won't budge, I would change my date. It would be worth it to me to move it forward or back 4-6 months just to avoid the pains of having my wedding too close to an "immediate" family member.  Most venues will allow you to move your deposit to another open date.

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