Do I say anything to my mum?

hi 
I think this may be the first time I’ve ever written on a forum. I guess I’m wondering if any of you have experienced or are experiencing a lack of interest from your mum or parents about your wedding.
Im getting married next Autumn and I’m so excited. We have our Venue and other bits sorted. I think I started to notice the lack of enthusiasm when I got engaged and I was asking if my mum and sister wanted to come to the usual wedding fairs. However, I asked my family to come and see the Venue with me and my fiancé at the wedding fair they were holding. I had no response from them and later found out that they weren’t doing anything particular special that day. The venue we’ve chosen is close to my family rather than close to where I live

I live about 40 miles away from my family and the place I grew up in, i have done for some time now. My mum and sister see each other every day even if it’s just a pop in. My sister is more excited about the wedding asking about dresses etc. But I’m very much outside the bubble they live in. I wonder if it’s because if this they feel detached from me? We are close in every other way .... we’ll I thought we were. And yes I could just come out and ask why aren’t you excited but I know it would end in a defensive argument. Also my dad has had some recent health complications and I don’t want to stress him out. 

If if anyone has any ideas or can make sense if what I’m trying to say I’d be grateful For someone else’s input  

Posts

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,954 New bride

    Is your wedding still quite far away? Because no one is that interested until you get on top of it.

    No one is my interested in our wedding, in the least. Not my parents, in laws, bridesmaids. that's why I spend time on here, because frankly, no one else gives a shit!

  • @MrsCToBee it’s next October which I guess is a while away. Why don’t they give a shit?  
    That’s why I’ve come in here to see if anyone else has this prob. Are you close to your family?
  • I had the opposite problem and ended up asking my mum to back off a bit and calm down because she was stressing me out... That wasn't the most pleasant of conversations or situations, that's for sure. My FMIL seems completely uninterested in things, though. 

    I guess every family (and bride/groom) is different. It might just be the time of year, perhaps with Christmas their minds are elsewhere at the moment. I doubt that any apparent lack of interest is intentional, nor a sign that they love you less or anything - it might just be their personality. 

    Perhaps you can lean more on other family members or friends who can give you the support and enthusiasm you're looking for? Or else you'll find lots of people here online who will gladly pour over your every detail, so why not start a planning thread?

    Hope this helps :smile: x
  • Thanks @kathryn107 thats helped ☺️. 
    I think a planning thread sounds like a great idea! I’ve just got to work out how to do it on here lol 😆 x
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,954 New bride
    edited December 2018
    @MrsCToBee it’s next October which I guess is a while away. Why don’t they give a shit?  
    That’s why I’ve come in here to see if anyone else has this prob. Are you close to your family?
    Yes, we are both fairly close to our families - but they all had small simple weddings arranged fairly quickly, and it's hard for other people to maintain a level of excitement for an extended period. I'm not offended, we all still love each other - they just aren't the sort of people who are 'in to' weddings.

  • I think a planning thread sounds like a great idea! I’ve just got to work out how to do it on here lol 😆 x
    I think you just need to dive into the planning area of the site and start your own discussion - just like you did here! Look forward to reading it x
  • MrsGtoBMrsGtoB Posts: 712 New bride
    My parents haven't been involved or excited and neither has my sister. I speak to them every day but they haven't offered any help. Well actually that's a lie my mum has made my daughter a Cape and they bought us our guest book as an xmas present (that I chose and ordered).
    We are very close and talk daily so not sure why maybe because I just get on with things and like to be in control they leave me to it.

    My wedding is two weeks away so will see if they gather any excitement over xmas 😂

    It hasn't bothered me in my planning as I've done everything our way 🤷🏼‍♀️
  • MrsGtoB has a point.  There are a LOT of brides on the forum that have major issues with mums (and other family members) meddling with their plans.  Sometimes too much involvement can be a really bad thing.  So you have the two extremes - no involvement or too much! I guess some of us can't win.
  • GlitterQueenGlitterQueen Posts: 72 New bride
    edited December 2018
    Really sorry to hear that your mum doesn't seem all that interested in your wedding, but I think the date being "far away" isn't the issue. She's your mother and she should care about your day, I'm sure you don't care if no on else does but your mum should want to be involved and be excited for her daughter's big day! My wedding is in 2020 and my mum and maid of honour have not dwindled in their excitement since my engagement last year! Saying that, my bridesmaid doesn't seem all that interested but again I know she's busy living her life. I would just ask your mum whether there's something on her mind maybe or if she doesn't reply to your messages just flat-out ask her why. It's better to know than wonder :)
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