Meeting between the In-laws!

Hello everyone, just wanted to get the perspective of others on here.

How long did it take for your parents to meet your fiance's? what did you do at this meeting (going for a meal etc) Did it go well? If not how did things improve?

The reason I ask is my fiance and I have been together for a number of years and our parents have never met for no reason in particular, it just hasn't happened yet. 

As we are now engaged it needs to be done pretty soon we reckon but I am dreading it! I am probably worrying about nothing but we come from quite different families and I fear the worst.

I wish we had done it sooner now and just got it out the way but we are where we are. I think things would be quite awkward if we went for a meal or something like that so could anyone suggest any activities that we could all do at the first meet which would help break the ice? 

We both know each other's families and get on really well, its just in-laws who are yet to meet. 

I appreciate you don't know the characters involved but any advice, tips or suggestions would be appreciated? 

thank you x


  • MrsPB2019MrsPB2019 Posts: 429 New bride
    My parents have only met my in laws once due to geography. We and my parents live in Sussex and my in laws live in North Yorkshire. My in laws came for a visit last May so we invited my parents over and had a BBQ. I feel it’s much better for them to meet there rather than for the first time in the small registry office which seemed more awkward.
  • Pisces91Pisces91 Posts: 165 New bride
    My in-laws met my mum. We all live far apart so it just hadn't happened. I took my mum and m-i-l dress shopping... So they kind of had to get to know each other while I was changing! And then we met up after with my fiance and f-i-l for a meal. By that point mum and m-i-l were comfortable with each other and it made things easier. 

    I had concerns but it was fine. You'll find that they're nervous themselves and everybody tends to behave. 
  • I'm in the same boat! Verrrry different lifestyles, and its all a bit awkward. Our venue has an open evening next week, so we have invited both sets of parents along. Figured its nice for them to see the venue, and then its less awkward because the event hasnt been designed specifically for them to meet, a bit like a dinner is. At least then its short and sweet! 

    Also, remember it isnt the end of the world if they dont get on like a house on fire, the amount of times theyll all be in the same room is minimal, and as long as theyre all nice enough and get on enough, thats all you can ask. 

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,255 New bride
    I think the first time they met really randomly as FH's parents were visiting him at uni and mine also happened to be around. The next few times were meals that had been pre-arranged for our birthdays. Mine and FH's birthday are 2 days apart and usually fall over Easter. They get on well now. 
    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • Our parents only met each other at our engagement party last January, my OH suggested a meal the night before, but it's just not my parents style, we're not formal like that.  Is there anything like a buffet / gathering that you can do at home and with a few other people too?  If you're going down the route of a sit down meal, maybe invite the rest of the bridal party and / or siblings, so that it's not just the 6 of you, maybe it would make it more relaxed? 
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,451 New bride

    I don't think it's really a big deal, I can't even remember the first time my mum met my in laws, but they get on well and my mum has spent Xmas with us at the in laws house, we all went for a meal at our wedding venue, and as we have a son they are both always around at birthdays/Xmas etc. Now we do loads of stuff together, for example they were all at our house for Xmas lunch, and both grans came with us when we took our son to see Father Christmas this year.

    I think my dad and stepmum have only met my in laws once or twice, they definitely met at our son's christening and maybe at one of his birthdays but I can't remember.

    I was with my previous partner for 6 years and my mum never met his parents, I don't think it's a big deal or essential for them to be friends, but once you have kids they will inevitably see each other at family occasions.

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 975 New bride
    Ours met during the Christmas holidays one year. We just invited both sets for a meal at our place.  It was very informal, nothing special.  I don't know how much time you until the wedding, but any holiday is a great excuse to get together for a meal and some socialising. 
  • PistachioPistachio Posts: 7 New bride
    Thanks everyone, great ideas here which I think will work. 

  • RoseyGoldRoseyGold Posts: 159 New bride
    Haha!! My parents met his Mum whilst I was propping him up having just run 10k 🤣
    The Mum's get on like a house on fire, when we take them both out for wedding stuff it's like having 2 gossiping teenagers in the back of the car!! 
    Don't over think it, just relax if your nervous your family probably will be too.
  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 592 New bride
    We had a bbq about 18 months before the wedding, and invited the bridesmaids and groomsmen too. It was informal and relaxed. I don't think the parents chatted much but at least they knew who each other were before the stag and hen parties!
  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,451 New bride
    RoseyGold said:
    Haha!! My parents met his Mum whilst I was propping him up having just run 10k 🤣
    The Mum's get on like a house on fire, when we take them both out for wedding stuff it's like having 2 gossiping teenagers in the back of the car!! 
    Don't over think it, just relax if your nervous your family probably will be too.

    Our mums are the same now, they spent the whole of Christmas Day waffling away at each other, no one else can get a word in!
  • I was in a similar situation to you and decided to organise an informal lunch at our wedding venue and made plans afterwards so that we had a ‘get out plan’. It went really well and I think both in laws felt comfortable with it being a bit more casual 
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