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MIL and something borrowed...

My future MIL offered me a family heirloom ring to wear as my something borrowed. The wedding isn’t until April 2020 so she told me to take the ring and have a think about it, and compare it to my dress and other jewellery if it matches. She said she wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t want to wear it.

fast forward a week and my fiancé is visiting them today on his own (they live 2 hours away and we don’t visit often). Last night MIL asked where the ring was. He told her it was here. Then a few hours later fiancé calls his dad about something else and his dad brings up the ring too, he said to tell me that it isn’t something to keep and is only to be borrowed. 

I don’t particularly like the ring anyway but luckily it is too small so I’ve given it to fiancé to give it back to her giving the size as a reason.

Did I do something wrong here? She told me go take the ring with me but my FIL’s words have made me feel like they’re painting me as a thief. I’m hurt by what now feels like an empty gesture and it’s made me proceed with caution if they offer to do anything else. 


  • i think you may be over thinknig it. He was probably just trying to clarify that it wasnt a gift, and is dear to them. Imagine giving your engagement ring to someone and then realising you may not have specified it wasnt a gift! They probably had a moment of panic but id think nothing more of it. 
  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,311 New bride
    I wouldn't worry too much about it. It sounds like your FMIL just hasn't updated her husband, I don't think anyone thinks badly of you.
    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
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