Family I don't want to invite
edited March 2019
Thank you for all your help :-) It has been really good to hear other peoples thoughts.
Could you just invite them all to the evening if at all, and leave it as late as poss to post them to see what plays out?
I wouldn't invite them anyway personally - your dad is under no obligation to continue a relationship with these people full stop.
It's a difficult situation, and I get where both sides are coming from. Personally I would consider the option of inviting them now, so that there's no backlash towards your dad on the run up to the wedding, but if things do get worse, then I would un-invite them. I know it's not the done thing, but if they're doing something that is upsetting the brides father and more importantly the bride and groom, then I think you're well within your right to do so.
We have had to un-invite a couple from our wedding - we ummed and arred about sending them a save the date as trouble always seems to follow the guy, but we decided we wanted him there so we'd take a chance. About three days after he received the STD, he went to a gig with my other half and a friend, my fella was home for about midnight as it was a week night and the guy ended up getting arrested for fighting at about 4am and spent the following day in a police cell. If this is what happens just hours after promising my fella that everything would be fine for the wedding, we just can't trust him, so we withdrew the invitation. Awkward, but we feel it's on his own toes.
I hope you find a solution.
Family is never easy, im sorry youve got this added stress.
Personally, i wouldnt invite them, from what i gathered (and i may be wrong) you only seem to be thinking of inviting them so that they dont create more drama for your dad? If thats the case, its not a good enough reason to invite them, and you can take the pressure off your dad by taking accountability for it. Maybe let the cousins know youd have loved to have had them all there but unfortunately due to venue/budget restrictions you just couldn't accommodate everyone, and then at least they know it isnt because your dad told you not to invite them.
Honestly, i think people like this will cause him stress and drama whether they're invited or not, so if you dont eant them there, youre partner doesnt want them there, and your dad doesnt really either and is just asking you to invite them for some peace and quiet, i just dont think it weighs up. Theyll still find things to be awkward about and theyll still cause stress and hassle.
Sensible advice indeed, it's your day, neither you, your fiance nor your dad, should have to worry about this sort of nonsense and your other guests probably wouldnt enjoy the extra entertainment if there was any fall out. It sounds like these people do not deserve to be invited if this is how they behave. We have been strict to close family only for the day reception which saves any arguments so stick to your gut feeling and have a good time.